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Old wounds never healed

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by sadhart, May 2, 2017.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Over the years, I had people constantly call me names and threaten to hit me. I never did anything to provoke them. I was a very quiet person, so maybe that is why these things happened. The people normally wouldn't say this to me directly. It was usually out loud to where I could hear or behind my back. They wanted a reaction and rarely I gave them one. But I felt so much anger and hatred and I still feel it years later. Hell, I'm not sure if what I went through would be considered being bullied as none of those assholes ever did anything but talk shit. But like I said, it still bothers me. Even just writing about it makes me want to scream with rage and punch through a wall.
     
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Sorry that this happened to you.

    Unfortunately there are people who will try to hurt other people for no other reason than that they think they can get away with it.

    I think it's good not to repress emotional reactions, but at the same time if you are able to intentionally calm yourself, that may be a better way to handle things
     
    sadhart and PaladinofKnights like this.
  3. PaladinofKnights

    PaladinofKnights SF Supporter

    Yo man it's over and ya rose above em by not givin them the attention they wanted ya said that yourself. The past is done man. Look ahead. Hit me up if ya need anything man. Peace.
     
  4. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I want to believe this, but it's hard. I do try to look forward, but all that crap gets reminded in someway or somehow. On top of that, not responding made me feel weak. I'm planning on writing to at least one of the people who bullied me soon. I don't expect much, but I want that piece of shit to know how I feel.
     
  5. PaladinofKnights

    PaladinofKnights SF Supporter

    Ya know where these dudes are?
     
  6. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Found a couple of people on facebook.
     
  7. PaladinofKnights

    PaladinofKnights SF Supporter

    I don't know bout contacting them that way might need to think about that one. Don't want ya gettin yourself in trouble ya don't need ya know? Keep me posted man let me know if there's anything I can do for ya.
     
  8. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    No, I'm not going to say anything threatening. But I need to get this shit out. In the past, I have self harmed and drank about this stuff. Like I said, I don't expect them to apologize or anything....hell, I don't have it in my heart to forgive them, that's how bitter and resentful of a person I am. But I'm unloading all this anger at the people who deserve it. I appreciate you reaching out.
     
  9. dugga

    dugga Well-Known Member

    Hi @sadhart - sorry you went through this. I went through stuff in my childhood and yes it still bothers me now and despite the passing of time and therapy yes I'm still angry but as I've been told it wasn't my fault and it's not yours either. Some people are just shit and no matter what they will always be shit. I always like to think that karma will get them one day and there is a special corner of hell reserved just for them. Have you spoken to a counsellor about it? I found it really helped and although stirring up what happened was really confronting for me as I had buried it very deep venting and getting it out in the open helped. As for contacting these people I don't know if it's a good idea - people like that are so wrapped up in their own ego that they probably wouldn't even remember you or have any idea of how much hurt they caused. People like that rarely have insight into other's feelings - they don't deserve your forgiveness only your pity. You're better than them.
     
    PaladinofKnights likes this.
  10. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    It's been a few months. I've been "confronting" one of the people who bullied me. I sent some messages on facebook, but I don't think he's read them. I found his twitter today and sent him a tweet. Honestly, as petty and pathetic this all is on my part, can't let the shit he did slide. Maybe this won't end well and will only lead to more emotional pain....I'm willing to risk it when it comes to confronting him and others. a few weeks ago I wrote to a former friend and let them know how their controlling ways bothered me. I held that in for five years. I'm not sure if she read the whole thing by her reply, but she did apologize sort of. I wasn't doing it for a response, but it felt good to have my voice heard. Sorry for rambling, I'm just so worked up right now.
     
    dugga likes this.
  11. Walker

    Walker Everything Zen Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    If you aren't friends on FB then messages go to a dump bin where they're pretty hard to find if you're not looking. Just saying. Maybe this guy isn't getting your messages. Do you feel any better for having written them?
    I once wrote someone who sexually abused me on FB and that page disappeared within minutes haha That was bitchin. I felt better even though of course I got no response.
     
  12. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I figured that my messages may not go through. I feel somewhat better. I found the piece of shits' twitter page as well. I only said one thing so far to him, calling him a cowardly bully. He hasn't been on in a couple of months though. I know it's petty, but I don't really care at this time.

    I'm sorry you got abused by someone like that. I'm glad you were able to feel better from writing to the scumbag who did that you.
     
  13. j0cu

    j0cu Member

    They will never heal. I know this because I have the same experience.
    I still remember every single insult they've said about me. Word by word.
     
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