Only reason I havn't commited suicide.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by dvnj22, Jan 27, 2013.

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  1. dvnj22

    dvnj22 Well-Known Member

    Is because it's just as pointless as life. It's also painful too, and I'd hate survive and end up with brain damage or something. Life is pointless and meaningless, and so is suicide. People are always talking about living life to the full and shit like that. What they mean is make money, go get drunk, get married, then divorced, then poor because of the divorce, retire, watch tv, spend time with your annoying family and friends, then finally you die. People talk about love -- when it doesn't exist, it's just chemicals in your brain. The fact that I will die is my only solace, the only problem is I'm 22 and it will be awhile.
     
  2. scarlettdrknss

    scarlettdrknss Well-Known Member

    i'm having the same thoughts ever since i failed suicide almost 2 years ago... it sucks :/ becuase then you really can't do anything about the way you feel. when i used to be really suicidal, i felt like i had a choice, like i could make a difference, like there was a way out, now there's nothing left.
     
  3. dvnj22

    dvnj22 Well-Known Member

    I've becoming so bitter and nihilistic.
     
  4. scarlettdrknss

    scarlettdrknss Well-Known Member

    what is your definition of nihilism?
    i've been arguing with a lot of people about it lately and everyone sees it differently. my parents don't even believe such a thing exists.
     
  5. dvnj22

    dvnj22 Well-Known Member

    nihilism too me has always been a fancy word for why do I even get up in the morning. It also reminds me of the end of bohemian rhapsody, when it freddie sings -- "Nothing really matters Anyone can see Nothing really matters Nothing really matters to me".
     
  6. scarlettdrknss

    scarlettdrknss Well-Known Member

    but if nothing really matters to you anymore, you wouldn't be here anymore.
    you are still here for a reason.
     
  7. dvnj22

    dvnj22 Well-Known Member

    The only meaning can be found from the individual, your and my loved ones only really matter to us, but if everyone died tomorrow it really wouldn't matter, would it? our lives have no more meaning or purpose then ants, or dust. And if I ever get were to get a painless and fast death I'd take it.
     
  8. scarlettdrknss

    scarlettdrknss Well-Known Member

    that's true. i didn't quite mean it like that though. i'm not religious, nor do i believe in any kind of higher power nor fulfilling ones fate/destiny or whatever. so i don't believe we're here to fulfill a certain purpose or anything but to just live, if you get what i mean. i don't blame anyone for taking their lives. those people obviously have a reason. you don't kill yourself for nothing. every being has a natural survival instinct and if something is strong enough to kill that instinct then it's obviously a big matter.
    you probably have some subconscious reason, some hope for the future, that keeps you alive. and i think it;s worth finding out what the reason is
     
  9. dvnj22

    dvnj22 Well-Known Member

    There is a higher power, just look at the laws of physics, jk -- the problem is in my mind is there a higher power that actually cares. As far as hope, I don't know sometimes I would like to get married, but I'm not the guy any girl would want. And like I said "if" I had the means for a painless and quick death I would take it. My life is really not worth saving. All you have to do is look at a biology book to see I am not the survival of the fittest. And sometimes I do believe in God. I go to my religious services, but I have serious doubts. Oscar Wilde said “The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.” So I mean when people talk about life and God or the nonexistence of God -- you can tell they know nothing. You look at someone for example billy graham and his angry opposite Richard Dawkins and you can see they are both full shit, Richard Dawkins has a higher iq no doubt but still full of shit. One time when i was praying, I don't know how to explain but I had a epiphany that my purpose was to help others, but I'm afraid that was just me kidding myself. I'll stop there cause i'm rambling.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 27, 2013
  10. scarlettdrknss

    scarlettdrknss Well-Known Member

    How can you be so convinced no girl would want you? That's nonsense.

    I differ between belief and religion. Belief is the matter of believing in a higher power/God etc. and religion is like a tradition, like going to church or whatever That's my oppinion at least. And yeah, I don't think you have to explain your beliefs or traditions. If you believe in God, then you do. It's your decision and you don't have to justify. Belief isn't something that describes you or that tells you what you have to do. For me it's just like believing that being friendly is a good thing to do.
    As for helping others as your purpose, I think that's a wonderful thing. People can always use some help. And if you believe in that and do your best, you will get far.
     
  11. dvnj22

    dvnj22 Well-Known Member

    Sigh..... I know no girl would want because, well it's embarrassing, but you asked -- I have a small penis there I said it. (3 1/2 inches erect) there will always be another guy that she could get with little or no effort that is better then me in every way and can satisfy her. So staying a virgin and busy till I die is the best route for me. I know in this posts I sound real angry and gloomy, but I'm actually a really nice guy -- so don't get the wrong impression.
     
  12. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Do you honestly think that love revolves around your sex organ?
     
  13. dvnj22

    dvnj22 Well-Known Member

    sex is important and having a small one affects her pleasure.
     
  14. scarlettdrknss

    scarlettdrknss Well-Known Member

    it's really not about your body in any way. there are couples who don't even have sex and are happy - just as an example that it's not as important, i'm not saying you're not supposed to have sex.
    but like you said, you're a nice guy and that is what really matters :) that is what would convince a girl to stay with you, not your penis size.
     
  15. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    .......... delete
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 29, 2013
  16. scarlettdrknss

    scarlettdrknss Well-Known Member

    what? why'd you delete that...?
    i totally agree with you (yes, i read what you wrote earlier, i just wasn't in a state where i was capable of coming up with a good reply). helping people distracts me from suicidal thoughts and seeing someone else get further in life makes it easier for me to accept that i just keeping falling deeper. and it kinda gives me the feeling about being worth at least a little bit for a short period of time.
     
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