It is the end. It is over. My life is over. I lost everything. Why are some people doomed? There are the same people here on the forum for years and years, just like me. Why are we doomed? Well I am doomed because I fuck everything up. But destiny helps it. I fucked up my relationship exactly when it was most promising. It's over. My life is over. No point of living anymore. Plus more issues on top. It's over. My life is over. Please help me. I have been crying all day. There are more issues. Everything is fucked up. I fucked up. Only my fault. I am fucked up. Sorry for the ugly words. There is no future for me.
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- Thread starter Marga
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The relationship lasted almost 5 years. It was very difficult sometimes, but I tried so hard to make it work, I loved him so much. He was my only hope to have a child. I am 41. It was looking promising. Then I fucked it up. The issues on top are that I just moved to a big quite expensive appartment to live there with him, but as we broke up I am left alone to pay the appartment which will be a big financial burden - I was counting on his contribution. As I just moved in I cannot leave - I would pay a very big fine according to the contract. That's one issue. Second issue is a longstanding issue with my old parents who are hoarders. Third issue - I have a small place which I rented to someone ( to help a person in difficulty) but they are not paying so I am basically paying for their energy consumptions. It is a woman with two children counting on the fact that it will be difficult to kick them out - in my country the laws protect a lot the people renting and if she refuses to leave, which I am sure she will, it goes to a court and it can well last a year or more when I will be paying for her consumption. She is also not taking care of the property. She can damage it. There is so much I am dealing with and noone to help me, to support me. My dream of having a happy family is gone. I did all I could to achieve it. It is gone. And actually noone cares. If I die today noone will care. Except for my parents. But even them it is not real love because they are sick people. No one has ever loved me. My life has no point.
I can scream, cry, shout, it wont cgage anything. I feel so helpless, like sll my power is gone. My partner was the sun of my life. Even though it was far from ideal, he was giving certain stability to my life. The only one who somehow honestly cared fir me to a degree. I know I fuck things up. Even my friend relationships. Everyone leaves me. I am screwed. I don't know how to make things work. I sm too unstable and emotional. I tend to care for others more than myself. I don't protect myself.
I just want to have a relatively normal life like others. Why is everything crumbling? Cannot have children, not allowed. I am an only child. My parents would like to have a grandchild. They also need some hapiness. Cannot get it. If it wasn't so definitive, if it wasn't for my parents whom i dont want to hurt, i just feel like i would end all this because the world is so cruel and unfair. I find it so hard to accept that it is me the loser, the desperate case, the tragic story, the one everyone laughs at. Already as a child my classmates laughed at me, some teachers told me I will end up badly. I wanted to prove them wrong. Guess what, that wont happen. They were right. I am a laughing matter. Not even that. Just a person noone cares about. If I die noone will even take care of the funeral. Noone will come. No one will ever remember me.
hi @Marga
I'm so sorry you've lost your partner. I understand. Sometimes, with huge events like that, it's going to be dark awhile, but there is hope. You're not alone when you are here.
Perhaps contact the police and see if they know of a social services agency which helps at all for your rental place. If you must, then start the process of getting the family some help and document all this stuff so you can use it later in court if needs be. I'm so sorry about that. I used to live in a small town where situations like that happened. I sold my little place just to avoid being trapped in that sort of thing.
Could a local church group help your parents with the hoarding situation? Taking a little action, baby steps, helps give some sense of control.
hugs
- s
I'm so sorry you've lost your partner. I understand. Sometimes, with huge events like that, it's going to be dark awhile, but there is hope. You're not alone when you are here.
Perhaps contact the police and see if they know of a social services agency which helps at all for your rental place. If you must, then start the process of getting the family some help and document all this stuff so you can use it later in court if needs be. I'm so sorry about that. I used to live in a small town where situations like that happened. I sold my little place just to avoid being trapped in that sort of thing.
Could a local church group help your parents with the hoarding situation? Taking a little action, baby steps, helps give some sense of control.
hugs
- s
Thanks for sharing those details. That definitely is a lot to deal with at this emotional time. You mention trouble with relationships with friends as well.. do you have any friend who knows you well and you could talk to for support? They may be able to point out positive pieces of yourself which you are having trouble seeing right now.
Take a deep breath and remember that you are just as valuable as any other human being. You may not believe it, but I believe it.
For your new expensive apartment .. not sure if this is an option where you live, but in some places you can let the manager know that you are looking to move out and they can search for someone else to lease it to. Essentially, you would continue to pay for the apt until they find someone looking to move in. Then the new person takes over. Once the new person is paying rent, management cannot collect rent from you anymore. I have done this before, when I had to move unexpectedly. I ended up paying for only 3 months of rent instead of a year.
That's unfortunate you are recalling classmates laughing at you now. Children (and many adults) are immature, so please try to forget the unsupportive comments from 20+ years ago. Of course, I have memories like that as well.. it is not always easy to push the memories aside.
Sending positive waves your way..
Take a deep breath and remember that you are just as valuable as any other human being. You may not believe it, but I believe it.
For your new expensive apartment .. not sure if this is an option where you live, but in some places you can let the manager know that you are looking to move out and they can search for someone else to lease it to. Essentially, you would continue to pay for the apt until they find someone looking to move in. Then the new person takes over. Once the new person is paying rent, management cannot collect rent from you anymore. I have done this before, when I had to move unexpectedly. I ended up paying for only 3 months of rent instead of a year.
That's unfortunate you are recalling classmates laughing at you now. Children (and many adults) are immature, so please try to forget the unsupportive comments from 20+ years ago. Of course, I have memories like that as well.. it is not always easy to push the memories aside.
Sending positive waves your way..
Thanks for sharing those details. That definitely is a lot to deal with at this emotional time. You mention trouble with relationships with friends as well.. do you have any friend who knows you well and you could talk to for support? They may be able to point out positive pieces of yourself which you are having trouble seeing right now.
Take a deep breath and remember that you are just as valuable as any other human being. You may not believe it, but I believe it.
For your new expensive apartment .. not sure if this is an option where you live, but in some places you can let the manager know that you are looking to move out and they can search for someone else to lease it to. Essentially, you would continue to pay for the apt until they find someone looking to move in. Then the new person takes over. Once the new person is paying rent, management cannot collect rent from you anymore. I have done this before, when I had to move unexpectedly. I ended up paying for only 3 months of rent instead of a year.
That's unfortunate you are recalling classmates laughing at you now. Children (and many adults) are immature, so please try to forget the unsupportive comments from 20+ years ago. Of course, I have memories like that as well.. it is not always easy to push the memories aside.
Sending positive waves your way..
Take a deep breath and remember that you are just as valuable as any other human being. You may not believe it, but I believe it.
For your new expensive apartment .. not sure if this is an option where you live, but in some places you can let the manager know that you are looking to move out and they can search for someone else to lease it to. Essentially, you would continue to pay for the apt until they find someone looking to move in. Then the new person takes over. Once the new person is paying rent, management cannot collect rent from you anymore. I have done this before, when I had to move unexpectedly. I ended up paying for only 3 months of rent instead of a year.
That's unfortunate you are recalling classmates laughing at you now. Children (and many adults) are immature, so please try to forget the unsupportive comments from 20+ years ago. Of course, I have memories like that as well.. it is not always easy to push the memories aside.
Sending positive waves your way..
Thank you, seabird, for taking the time to read my posts and reply. You give some good advice. As for the rent, I already sent the tenant an end of rent letter. I didn't know what else to do as she stopped paying completely and was just making up excuses. So it might end up in court. It scares me. Maybe what you are suggesting would be good, but that didn't occur to me - to contact some social services.
As for the hoarding - in my country the church is not very active. Moreover, the problem is my parents completely refuse to cooperate. I did a little with them, step by step, as you say. But it was very demanding because I basically had to fight with them over every single item to give away. There is noone in my life to help me, to support me. My partner was at least a certain support although it was also a little problematic. Now I lost even that.
As for the hoarding - in my country the church is not very active. Moreover, the problem is my parents completely refuse to cooperate. I did a little with them, step by step, as you say. But it was very demanding because I basically had to fight with them over every single item to give away. There is noone in my life to help me, to support me. My partner was at least a certain support although it was also a little problematic. Now I lost even that.
Hi Marga, I feel with you. Please - YOU did not fuck up anything. Don't let this feelings grow. That you suffer is clear. I see two special points - the loss of your loved one. My condolences. But you are not alone. I wish you to find the strength to get over this.
For the financial part - its a little bit like in France, who protects people who rent apartments. But nobody forbids you to sell it. I know, the price will be lower - but its a temporary help. Stop paying anything - you have a contract with them, so let them live without electricity. Why not? Sorry to be so harsh. Again - there are good persons in this world (not a lot) but most of them are just too egoistic, self-centered, materialistic... Very sad. For your current apartment - I would probably sub-rent - but very careful and with the help of a good lawyer. I did not get it - did you not sign the contract together? So again lawyer - your ex cannot disappear without taking a part of his responsibility.
I was living in situations like that and when the shit hits the fan I sat down and made an emergency plan, plan B. It mostly worked out.
Well, I think we all feel with you. I wish you strength, power and that the tears disappear. You are not alone. All here will help you.
For the financial part - its a little bit like in France, who protects people who rent apartments. But nobody forbids you to sell it. I know, the price will be lower - but its a temporary help. Stop paying anything - you have a contract with them, so let them live without electricity. Why not? Sorry to be so harsh. Again - there are good persons in this world (not a lot) but most of them are just too egoistic, self-centered, materialistic... Very sad. For your current apartment - I would probably sub-rent - but very careful and with the help of a good lawyer. I did not get it - did you not sign the contract together? So again lawyer - your ex cannot disappear without taking a part of his responsibility.
I was living in situations like that and when the shit hits the fan I sat down and made an emergency plan, plan B. It mostly worked out.
Well, I think we all feel with you. I wish you strength, power and that the tears disappear. You are not alone. All here will help you.
Never thought it would get this bad again...if it wasn't for my parents and my cats, I would want to end everything. How did I get to this place... still four months ago I was in a pretty happy place. And then some coincidences... one bad mistake.... really just one... and everything started to go fast downhill.
Well... I was in a relashionship with a guy I loved a lot, he sort of cared about me, although it seemed he didn't really love me because he didn't dedicate me much attention and sometimes wasn't very nice to me etc.. But I still loved him a lot and was glad to be with him. Then we had some conflict which made me think this relationship might not last. But I was still hoping. Then by accident I met some other guy, who showed a lot of interest in me. He was really very nice to me and I liked him a lot. I explained my situation to him, told him I am with someone but it's not working well. He said he can wait some time. I wanted time to get to know him, to decide. But it was difficult. I still loved the first man whom didn't treat me so well. Was kind of picking up courage and strenght to leave him because the other man was so nice to me. But then suddenly the "new man" lost his patience and told me that he doesn't believe I will ever leave the first one and ended it. However, I already told my previous partner that I had some doubts about our relationship and he got upset and said he doesn't want to continue. The situation was even more complicated because I/we were supposed to move to another appartment and the question was whether we would move together or not. I don't want to into all the details. Just a bad coincidence. Well, basically that's what happened and now I am left alone. It is in a way my fault that I wasn't able to decide immediately about the two relationships. I know it is not nice. But the new man was so nice, but as I didn't know him, I was so afraid how it would be later. Was afraid of ending up alone. Which is what happened in the end. 😔😔😔