I'm sorry as I haven't been on here in awhile and I seem to come on here when something is bothering me. But I am feeling so stressed and upset right now. Several things have happened that have really gotten to me in a way that I just want to quit my job, drink and just be done with life. I just feel like I'm not making any real progress at all. I'm sorry for not making sense but I'm just really tired.
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Overwhelmed and stressed
- Thread starter sadhart
- Start date
I'll have to give a bullet point version due to time limitations:
1. I'm feeling a certain way about something regarding people who view others who are shy or deal with anxiety as rude or "stuck up". Saw a topic on another forum about it and it just really bothered me.
2. I feel like the money I earn isn't mine. My mother asked for money last week to pay car insurance. I use one of the cars she pays insurance on so I guess I felt somewhat obligated to do so. The problem was she waited until nearly the last minute to ask me and didn't consider what I have on my own plate. I didn't complain but I really wanted to because if the roles were reversed she would say something about me not being more responsible and thoughtful.
3. My job is shutting down for two weeks. I signed up to do menial tasks during that time as opposed to taking time off and filing for unemployment. If I had more passive income I may have done so but I don't and I hate how I don't. I feel like no matter how responsible I try to be with money, there is never enough and I'm not being responsible.
4. I feel weak because I seek support groups like this and go to therapy. Someone I spoke to feels like doing this is pointless because you can do things on your own. And I'm very conflicted by this. Maybe they are right and I'm wasting time with things like this and therapy....I don't know.
Sorru,none of this probably makes sense. I'm not having a good day and I just really hate myself right now.
1. I'm feeling a certain way about something regarding people who view others who are shy or deal with anxiety as rude or "stuck up". Saw a topic on another forum about it and it just really bothered me.
2. I feel like the money I earn isn't mine. My mother asked for money last week to pay car insurance. I use one of the cars she pays insurance on so I guess I felt somewhat obligated to do so. The problem was she waited until nearly the last minute to ask me and didn't consider what I have on my own plate. I didn't complain but I really wanted to because if the roles were reversed she would say something about me not being more responsible and thoughtful.
3. My job is shutting down for two weeks. I signed up to do menial tasks during that time as opposed to taking time off and filing for unemployment. If I had more passive income I may have done so but I don't and I hate how I don't. I feel like no matter how responsible I try to be with money, there is never enough and I'm not being responsible.
4. I feel weak because I seek support groups like this and go to therapy. Someone I spoke to feels like doing this is pointless because you can do things on your own. And I'm very conflicted by this. Maybe they are right and I'm wasting time with things like this and therapy....I don't know.
Sorru,none of this probably makes sense. I'm not having a good day and I just really hate myself right now.
About point 4, it's true what Avidfan said. If it wasn't necessary these kinds of forums wouldn't exist. And we wouldn't feel the way we do. It's not your fault you feel this way. And I'm glad you could make the step to go to therapy and talk here, emotions need somewhere to go after all.
About point 3/2, I know the feeling very well, I also feel like I am at fault for not having enough money and having no job/shitty jobs all the time. But the thing is, we by ourselves can't make this work most of time, maintaining a family is a family effort, and you shouldn't blame all on yourself. Our society nowadays like to tell you you are alone and have to do it all alone, but mostly this is a lie, we survived all these years as a group always.
I hope you can manage to judge yourself less. Your life is more about society than your fault entirely
About point 3/2, I know the feeling very well, I also feel like I am at fault for not having enough money and having no job/shitty jobs all the time. But the thing is, we by ourselves can't make this work most of time, maintaining a family is a family effort, and you shouldn't blame all on yourself. Our society nowadays like to tell you you are alone and have to do it all alone, but mostly this is a lie, we survived all these years as a group always.
I hope you can manage to judge yourself less. Your life is more about society than your fault entirely
It's ok to only visit SF when you feel like it.
You're making sense, I'm just sorry that things are so bad.
I think it's strength rather than weakness to reach out for help when you need it. It takes courage to do that.
I don't agree with this at all. Some people may not like therapy, or not feel good about asking for help, but that doesn't make asking for help bad. If going to therapy or posting on SF helps you, then I think it is a good and healthy thing to do.
You're making sense, I'm just sorry that things are so bad.
I think it's strength rather than weakness to reach out for help when you need it. It takes courage to do that.
I don't agree with this at all. Some people may not like therapy, or not feel good about asking for help, but that doesn't make asking for help bad. If going to therapy or posting on SF helps you, then I think it is a good and healthy thing to do.
sadhart
I do think that people who are shy are sometimes misunderstood. Try not to worry about what other people think- most people are predominantly concerned about themselves.
I guess parents always think they are 'coaching' by giving advice, even though they don't necessarily follow it themselves. You could tell her that next time you would like a couple of weeks notice before she needs money. At any rate I hope that the situation is reciprocal.
Money is difficult and its something you have to keep working at. I keep hearing of people who have a "side hustle" and I want one too. I am lucky enough to have a work from home job though. Keep looking and think of it as a long term project. There are a lot of online jobs.
It is a strength to seek support. Sometimes people who seek help realize they should have done it a long time ago.
I hope the menial tasks give you a mental break for a while anyway.
Take care.
Alice
I do think that people who are shy are sometimes misunderstood. Try not to worry about what other people think- most people are predominantly concerned about themselves.
I guess parents always think they are 'coaching' by giving advice, even though they don't necessarily follow it themselves. You could tell her that next time you would like a couple of weeks notice before she needs money. At any rate I hope that the situation is reciprocal.
Money is difficult and its something you have to keep working at. I keep hearing of people who have a "side hustle" and I want one too. I am lucky enough to have a work from home job though. Keep looking and think of it as a long term project. There are a lot of online jobs.
It is a strength to seek support. Sometimes people who seek help realize they should have done it a long time ago.
I hope the menial tasks give you a mental break for a while anyway.
Take care.
Alice
Sending good thoughts @sadhart
If the support groups feel right for you, giving you support &/or insight into things, then it's a natural strengthening of who you are, as opposed to weak. Weak would be in my opinion, giving in to someone who is pushing you to do things their way, even when it doesn't feel right for you.
The person who labeled these as pointless is not correct, nor are they approaching your issues logically. Some people feel anxious or defensive in support group settings, so they likely want you to see it from their perspective. Getting support from others can help heaps and eventually one can begin to have the cofidence to no longer feel conflicted. What we do with the information and support is key, as is deciding what our intentions are. To put it in a cheeky kind of way; a friend of mine used to say, "where do you want to go and how do you want to get there?" Some folks need to think they do everything on their own, while the many of us acknowledge that we need and appreciate other's help along the way. This is entirely valid and healthy.
If the support groups feel right for you, giving you support &/or insight into things, then it's a natural strengthening of who you are, as opposed to weak. Weak would be in my opinion, giving in to someone who is pushing you to do things their way, even when it doesn't feel right for you.
The person who labeled these as pointless is not correct, nor are they approaching your issues logically. Some people feel anxious or defensive in support group settings, so they likely want you to see it from their perspective. Getting support from others can help heaps and eventually one can begin to have the cofidence to no longer feel conflicted. What we do with the information and support is key, as is deciding what our intentions are. To put it in a cheeky kind of way; a friend of mine used to say, "where do you want to go and how do you want to get there?" Some folks need to think they do everything on their own, while the many of us acknowledge that we need and appreciate other's help along the way. This is entirely valid and healthy.
I almost decided not to work during my work's shutdown but decided to go ahead and do so. I will be doing menial tasks for the next two weeks and then on the third week, being part of a test production of sorts to make sure the machines work. Some of the people who I'm working with are pretty loud; like they just be yelling and stuff for no real reason. I want to be able to get through each day without feeling overwhelmed and uncomfortable. At the same time, I am at least glad I don't have to worry about income too much because of the shutdown.
Okay, now I'm pissed. A couple of weeks ago my mother needed to borrow money for car insurance. And the part I didn't appreciate was her asking under short notice because it was more than I was fully prepared to pay all at once. But I didn't say anything; just gave her the money without voicing any frustration.
Now she texted me about her computer not working and if I have a best buy credit card to hey a new one. And I do, and I have managed to keep the balance on it relatively low. I was considering making some purchases later down the road,but now I can't really do that. I wanted so bad to call her out for this. It feels so inconsiderate to what I have on my own plate. And yet, I know it's important for her to have a computer because she works from home. But dammit I am so sick of her not being better prepared for things. She says she will pay it back but how? She has other things she's juggling payment wise. Arghh!!!!
I feel so very angry but also selfish and inconsiderate right now.
Now she texted me about her computer not working and if I have a best buy credit card to hey a new one. And I do, and I have managed to keep the balance on it relatively low. I was considering making some purchases later down the road,but now I can't really do that. I wanted so bad to call her out for this. It feels so inconsiderate to what I have on my own plate. And yet, I know it's important for her to have a computer because she works from home. But dammit I am so sick of her not being better prepared for things. She says she will pay it back but how? She has other things she's juggling payment wise. Arghh!!!!
I feel so very angry but also selfish and inconsiderate right now.
Ah, parents, those other human beings who we simultaneously can feel totally mad at but also guilty for feeling mad at because we're adults but also children and they're adults but can also be like children. Parents can sometimes behave more child-like than their children! Sorry you're being put in this predicament when you have your own stuff to deal with. Sounds like you want to help her but also want to look after yourself, and it's really hard to find the right balance .🙁 Hope you can figure out a way through it.
I have no idea what it is. She just said 'it died". I really don't know if finding something on craigslist is something I can do. I thought about maybe doing a pay in four option but I just can't right now and since my mother is all about instant gratification, using my credit card is the only real option at this time. But thank you though.