Please make the guilt stop! Please!

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by SaraRose, Nov 17, 2012.

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  1. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    Every night I feel so guilty. It just doesn't stop and I don't know how to keep going. I can't sleep good anymore. I lie awake for hours just staring at my tv while I know that the time is ticking away for me to be able to get good rest.

    It's every night and over such stupid stuff. Like- not playing with my cats all day- even if they slept most of the day. Or not going to the grocery store, when I knew I could do it tomorrow. Or not getting to talk to a friend- even if I knew it was impossible to do it today.

    It tears me apart and it's always so stupid. But, it makes me feel so sick. I can't stand it.

    Night has always been so hard for me with my depression, but now it's getting worse. I'm at the point where I can't sleep in a quiet room because my head keeps going over all I've done wrong or haven't done today.

    Everything I say that no one cares about rings in my head and I start feeling stupid for saying it. Guilt that just keeps building up until I can't take it and start crying.

    I...I can't stand it anymore. I want to sleep like a normal person. I can't take pills to help because it causes me to have panic attacks after the failed attempt. So I'm left waiting until exhaustion just takes over and I pratically collapse where I'm at...

    I just need the guilt to stop. Need the replaying of everything I've done wrong in my life to stop.!
  2. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    And damn it! Facebook doesn't help at all. Thanks so much for showing me again just how everyone is having fun while I sit here curled up! EFF YOU FACEBOOK!
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I do the same thing, like replaying the past in my head, wondering what I could have done better, or if things would be different if I did something else....but you can't change the past. It's just a distant memory, but you have control over your present and future. Don't worry so much, because some things are beyond your control, and there's not much you can do to change the outcome. By the way, Facebook sucks...I deactivated it and people still don't care, so I'm better off without those people, and maybe you are too. Try to focus on yourself and your needs and don't try to overthink things. Easier said than done, but it's worth a try.
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi Sara - I have a little booklet by my bedside entitled "You Can Stop Feeling Guilty" and, I quote: ".....when guilt is properly understood and acted on, it can be a great influence for living more fully, more productively, more joyfully. Thus guilt can promote our development, making us "more than we are".

    Ok, so that might be the "after" picture - but what about the "before"? you may well ask..... I am still in the 'before' stage myself, although am getting better about the 'proper understanding and acting on it' part.

    But just want to say that, although there is no magic wand to waft guilt away, or magic pill to heal the groove - this is how the author continues on:

    "The critical question facing us as we begin our study is, What is the most reliable source for a proper understanding of our subject? As Solomon noted, "A man of sense defers to authority". My training at the university exposed me to many "authorities".... My professors identified the leading thinkers and explained their theories. While I appreciate what I learned from my formal training (the author is a PDoc), I am convinced, after counseling experience, that the most reliable authority is....... (actually, something else, which I hesitate to write, but which ppl might be able to guess - but I think would be better in a PM, as I know it turns a lot of people off - please forgive my presumption).

    Would be pleased to type out more from the booklet if you'd like..... either here or in a PM if you'd prefer. Honey, the burden of guilt that plagues me, rest assured, would be too much to bear if I did not follow this man's advice - but I want to assure you, we do not have to stay in this condition :)
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun you sound so much like someone i know. Obsessive thinking it drives her crazy too hun Worrying about what she should have done or said I hope hun you reach out ok and talk to your therapist or doctor and see if you can get some help to stop the thoughts hun. You are so worth the effort hun try ok talk to someone and get some help She did and she is feeling so m uch better now You can to hugs
  6. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    Thank you everyone for your comments.

    total eclipse- I wish I could tell my doctor but I just haven't been able to tell him about anything that's bothering me. I keep trying but failing.
  7. IWonder

    IWonder Member

    About facebook not helping - I saw an article about a study done recently saying that most people feel bad proportionate to how much time they spend on facebook. Facebook shows pictures of others smiling and seeming to always be having a good time, while in reality, no one's life is like that. Those pictures are of people posing, and it all creates a whole big illusion that others are living better lives than me, while EVERYONE thinks that way about the posts on facebook...!
  8. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I totally agree Wonder - so true :)
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