Every night I feel so guilty. It just doesn't stop and I don't know how to keep going. I can't sleep good anymore. I lie awake for hours just staring at my tv while I know that the time is ticking away for me to be able to get good rest. It's every night and over such stupid stuff. Like- not playing with my cats all day- even if they slept most of the day. Or not going to the grocery store, when I knew I could do it tomorrow. Or not getting to talk to a friend- even if I knew it was impossible to do it today. It tears me apart and it's always so stupid. But, it makes me feel so sick. I can't stand it. Night has always been so hard for me with my depression, but now it's getting worse. I'm at the point where I can't sleep in a quiet room because my head keeps going over all I've done wrong or haven't done today. Everything I say that no one cares about rings in my head and I start feeling stupid for saying it. Guilt that just keeps building up until I can't take it and start crying. I...I can't stand it anymore. I want to sleep like a normal person. I can't take pills to help because it causes me to have panic attacks after the failed attempt. So I'm left waiting until exhaustion just takes over and I pratically collapse where I'm at... I just need the guilt to stop. Need the replaying of everything I've done wrong in my life to stop. Need...it...to...stop!