Please someone help
- Thread starter ForgottenFarewell
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You feel like you don't have anyone NOW, that's not to say you don't have anyone, or won't in the future. Depression blinds us to what's really there, friends and family who love you and would hate to see you suffer as you are. If you feel like you can't reach out in real life, reach out here, we all want you to be well. You are not trash, I see an amazing person who still has the will to live and so they found themselves here, where there is help available, you just have to ask 
You feel like you don't have anyone NOW, that's not to say you don't have anyone, or won't in the future. Depression blinds us to what's really there, friends and family who love you and would hate to see you suffer as you are. If you feel like you can't reach out in real life, reach out here, we all want you to be well. You are not trash, I see an amazing person who still has the will to live and so they found themselves here, where there is help available, you just have to ask
+1 to what @Daíthí said...you are NOT trash, you are a worthwhile person who is going through a tough time but it doesn't always have to be this way.
Right now, just focus on getting through the next 24 hours and try (hard as it may be) to avoid going down a mental rabbit hole of self-abuse.
Use us here on the forum, whether via threads, inbox, direct chat or the chat rooms. There are some great and knowledgeable people here that have felt exactly the way you're feeling right now.
Right now, just focus on getting through the next 24 hours and try (hard as it may be) to avoid going down a mental rabbit hole of self-abuse.
Use us here on the forum, whether via threads, inbox, direct chat or the chat rooms. There are some great and knowledgeable people here that have felt exactly the way you're feeling right now.
Thank you for the reply. Something strange and sort of positive happened as I was leaving work.
A co-worker knows that I raised Cactus as a hobby. She had one in her office that was too large for the pot and she asked me if I would take it home and repot it for her. She gave me some money to buy the soil and a new pot.
Knowing that I need to bring this plant back to her tomorrow helped me to not go home and do what I'm thinking about.
I'm struggling so much right now though. Really scares me how calm I feel about what I've been thinking about doing. I have rehearsed it in my mind hundreds of times.
A co-worker knows that I raised Cactus as a hobby. She had one in her office that was too large for the pot and she asked me if I would take it home and repot it for her. She gave me some money to buy the soil and a new pot.
Knowing that I need to bring this plant back to her tomorrow helped me to not go home and do what I'm thinking about.
I'm struggling so much right now though. Really scares me how calm I feel about what I've been thinking about doing. I have rehearsed it in my mind hundreds of times.
Having things to do...and things to look forward to...and things to potentially even be hopeful about. Those are some great motivators for choosing life. I don't mean to speak for everyone who suffers from depression but I know when I'm depressed, I withdraw from the people around me, stop being as productive and stop making plans that I can look forward to. This just feeds the cycle of depression even more.
Its hard to make that first step but I think its necessary in order to climb out of the mental hole that is depression. At first you'll need to force yourself (whether its going to the gym, pursuing a hobby, hanging out with people) but, eventually, it'll feel natural and fulfilling.
You got this. Enjoy working with the cactus and just get through the next 24 hours. Then, think about what other "first steps" you'd like to start taking. Sweeping change won't happen over night but, eventually, these baby steps add up.
We're here for ya.
Its hard to make that first step but I think its necessary in order to climb out of the mental hole that is depression. At first you'll need to force yourself (whether its going to the gym, pursuing a hobby, hanging out with people) but, eventually, it'll feel natural and fulfilling.
You got this. Enjoy working with the cactus and just get through the next 24 hours. Then, think about what other "first steps" you'd like to start taking. Sweeping change won't happen over night but, eventually, these baby steps add up.
We're here for ya.
This is what you need to get professional help for. Peer to peer support only goes so far. If you feel you will act on your thoughts you need to contact your local crisis team. You really do deserve to feel better than you are. I screwed up my tummy from an attempt, please don't make the same mistake I did. I am here for you, if you ever need to talk just drop me a message. Counseling could help a lot with your thoughts especially the obsessing over suicide. You know it is not healthy, you need to change your thinking about suicide or nothing will change. I do wish you the best and I really do not want you to harm yourself. The reviving of the cactus made me smile, maybe that was meant to be - to get in the way of your plans. Good luck to you!
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