please talk with me

[nicktheundoer]

i've quit my meds and i've been sick for a week.
i try to get ready but im only scared.
i do nothing at home... i dont even take showers. im super depressed and dont get out of home.
how much longer can i live like this?

😢😢

 

[dying_inside]

i dont want to just stop getting out of bed or stop talking or stop doing my things.
i still would feel and think and be alive.
i dont want to be alive

 

[Pricosmin]

I know is very hard but take a deep breath and go to a walk...smile even if u can't do it...let the people laugh who care's ? For example today was my first walk in the last days....10-15 mins or so but at least now, even if I have the same thoughts like you, at least I have the strenght to visit this thread and reply to you ... that's something right ? Take your meds and leave your home for a few time .... will means a lot

 

[dying_inside]

i have quit my meds, i cant go back and take them anymore. i dont want to get better i want to slowly let myself die. i dont know how but thats all i can think about now

 

[Waves]

I read a quote a while back by 'Thich Nhat Hanh' that "The only way out is in"
Praying for you..I hope everything will be alright...hugsss

Hello. Interesting quote. May I ask what is meant by it? In what?

 

[Paul1963]

im watching tv but it only makes me think more.
about death, suicide, my plan...
im scared.
i dont like my plan but its the best i could come up with.
i cant find other ways out.
i hate everything of my life and i want to avoid everything.
i want to avoid my life.

I woke up this morning and screamed because I knew that I had to face another day of relentless, pointless suffering in this shitshow called life. I have been lying down all day, just staring into space, or drifting in and out of sleep. I'm near the end now, I can feel it. I no longer have a fear of death, and the thought of dying is the only thing on this hellhole planet that brings me peace. Even if I won the lottery, I would just shrug my shoulders and say " so fucking what " because I have suffered enough, and seen enough of this dreadful world to last me a lifetime. It's a done deal that I will be gone somewhere in the near future. I just have to find the right method to use, and put my affairs in order. This is all I think of now. There is no going back. I'm so sorry you are suffering also, and can relate to everything you say. It's fucking brutal.

 

[dying_inside]

i could stop eating.

Paul, i can relate so much, except im afraid of suicide because last time it was f**ing horrible. im not afraid of death but of the act of suicide yes.
i still have not my things in order and i will leave a mess. just as my life

 

[may71]

Hugs @dying_inside

 

[Paul1963]

i could stop eating.

Paul, i can relate so much, except im afraid of suicide because last time it was f**ing horrible. im not afraid of death but of the act of suicide yes.
i still have not my things in order and i will leave a mess. just as my life

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, it sounds truly horrific. I have never made an attempt up to now, but this existence has now gone beyond unbearable. I have been strong for far too long now, and have finally made a concrete decision that I shall undoubtedly put myself out of my misery once and for all. People have no problems putting their pets to sleep to end their suffering. We are sentient beings just like them so why are people so hell-bent on keeping us here just to prolong our suffering ? Also what about people like cancer patients ? My grandmother had breast cancer and was obviously suffering and wanted to die, so why do people think that mental suffering is any less worse ? It's a cruel, dreadful world and we are demonized for needing to end our pain. Once again, I'm so sorry that you are suffering, and it's tragic that very few people can relate to or understand what you are going through. 🤗

 

[nicktheundoer]

Hello. Interesting quote. May I ask what is meant by it? In what?

the only way out of our suffering is going through it..

 

[VioletDawn]

I woke up this morning and screamed because I knew that I had to face another day of relentless, pointless suffering in this shitshow called life. I have been lying down all day, just staring into space, or drifting in and out of sleep. I'm near the end now, I can feel it. I no longer have a fear of death, and the thought of dying is the only thing on this hellhole planet that brings me peace. Even if I won the lottery, I would just shrug my shoulders and say " so fucking what " because I have suffered enough, and seen enough of this dreadful world to last me a lifetime. It's a done deal that I will be gone somewhere in the near future. I just have to find the right method to use, and put my affairs in order. This is all I think of now. There is no going back. I'm so sorry you are suffering also, and can relate to everything you say. It's fucking brutal.

It's a done deal pretty much sums up my feelings too. Brutal is exactly how it feels for me as well.

 

[Waves]

the only way out of our suffering is going through it..

Thank you

 

[Paul1963]

It's a done deal pretty much sums up my feelings too. Brutal is exactly how it feels for me as well.

So sorry you are suffering too. The abyss of existential despair is definitely a brutal place to be.

 

[dying_inside]

The only way i have found to get some relief is to cancel the chosen date and let it happen when it will happen. it takes away a lot of pressure and lets me more free to go whenever i chose so

 

[Paul1963]

The only way i have found to get some relief is to cancel the chosen date and let it happen when it will happen. it takes away a lot of pressure and lets me more free to go whenever i chose so

I think that you are right about this because there will be a point reached when we literally break and just go ahead with it in the spur of the moment. As long as we have our chosen method close by, or a combination of methods ready then we are good to go. I used to do a lot of skydiving when I was younger. I have toyed with the idea of cutting both chutes and plummeting 10,500 feet to the ground. Death would be 100% certain.

 

[iloverachel]

I woke up this morning and screamed because I knew that I had to face another day of relentless, pointless suffering in this shitshow called life. I have been lying down all day, just staring into space, or drifting in and out of sleep. I'm near the end now, I can feel it. I no longer have a fear of death, and the thought of dying is the only thing on this hellhole planet that brings me peace. Even if I won the lottery, I would just shrug my shoulders and say " so fucking what " because I have suffered enough, and seen enough of this dreadful world to last me a lifetime. It's a done deal that I will be gone somewhere in the near future. I just have to find the right method to use, and put my affairs in order. This is all I think of now. There is no going back. I'm so sorry you are suffering also, and can relate to everything you say. It's fucking brutal.

You just described how i feel perfectly. If I won $10 million i wouldn't even be happy one bit. No amount of money can cure the pain I feel inside

I hope you feel better soon though

 

[Paul1963]

You just described how i feel perfectly. If I won $10 million i wouldn't even be happy one bit. No amount of money can cure the pain I feel inside

I hope you feel better soon though

Thank you. In a strange way it's good to know that there are other people in the world who are experiencing the same kind of despair. I obviously don't want others to suffer, but it's good to know that there are those ( rare ) people out there in the world who understand what I am going through. Only those of us who are experiencing this despair can truly understand it. You have to have experienced it to truly get it. I hope you find even a small amount of relief today from all of your suffering. 🤗

 

[dying_inside]

i want to avoid my life.
i hate it so much.
i dont want to be here and live through it.

 

[Windhover]

I'm here and hoping things change for the much much better @dying_inside - despite the depth of your distress.

 

[dying_inside]

i dont cry because if i ever started i would never end