I do hope that you would be willing to consider an alternative way to deal with what is pushing you in this direction. I’m not aware of how this looks for you.
I can say that in my case, all of the times I would have done myself in with anything deadly within reach, I had changed my mind within 24 hours.
In other words, a suicide is rarely done in a state where logic and reason are available. We’re in fight/flight mode and that makes us feel like we must escape immediately.