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post your major complaint here
- Thread starter 1964dodge
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I’m still having intrusive thoughts about the nightmare experience of inpatient treatment. It wasn’t really treatment, so much as a brief imprisonment. And that’s why I got out more traumatized than I was before I went in. That’s only the seed of the issue, though.
If the pain stopped with me, I could get through it using skills and tools I have learned in a quarter century of regular therapy for PTSD. Just to torture the botany metaphor, the root of the problem is that I am now on the defensive everywhere, because that was not the first time I asked for help and received harm instead. The ensuing mistrust of anyone around me who hadn’t already earned my trust before that happened is a thorn in my side, and likely poisoning my relationships with people who are in fact trustworthy, but I won’t take a risk, knowing the downside of trusting wrongly.
The defensiveness also has me on constant lookout for bad actors in every interaction where I am either paying, or being paid. It’s exhausting and it’s warping my outlook. The thing about hyper vigilance is that we tend to find whatever it is we are looking for. Since I am obsessed with avoiding villains, I end up finding more of them than I would have with a neutral assumption.
If the pain stopped with me, I could get through it using skills and tools I have learned in a quarter century of regular therapy for PTSD. Just to torture the botany metaphor, the root of the problem is that I am now on the defensive everywhere, because that was not the first time I asked for help and received harm instead. The ensuing mistrust of anyone around me who hadn’t already earned my trust before that happened is a thorn in my side, and likely poisoning my relationships with people who are in fact trustworthy, but I won’t take a risk, knowing the downside of trusting wrongly.
The defensiveness also has me on constant lookout for bad actors in every interaction where I am either paying, or being paid. It’s exhausting and it’s warping my outlook. The thing about hyper vigilance is that we tend to find whatever it is we are looking for. Since I am obsessed with avoiding villains, I end up finding more of them than I would have with a neutral assumption.
Sorry that's happening @Pebble mouse . Sounds like the Fair trade people could assist and be the shortest route to getting some help with it.
"If this is not ADHD, then what it is..." I hate this my little peculiarity, but it's major, it's not minor. Every time, every ^&&^ time I need to go to somewhere important early in the morning, like today, I can't get to go to sleep early the day before. And not because anxiety, that's peculiar, it's like more I get a special episode of time blindness exactly the night before. Got 5 hours of sleep today, I'd say, for me it's even luxurious in this kind of situations, it's more often like 3 hours more or less...
I just wish I could get this ADHD diagnosis confirmed sooner, I have hopes for my new psychiatrist. Medication.. it's more of a financing question, it may be a real problem, but at least she got me on fluoxetine, and it may help....
I just wish I could get this ADHD diagnosis confirmed sooner, I have hopes for my new psychiatrist. Medication.. it's more of a financing question, it may be a real problem, but at least she got me on fluoxetine, and it may help....
I fucking hate all those douchebags streamers/youtubers who travel to some countries to harass people, destroy public facilities, and break the law there. What the hell are they thinking? Do they think the law won’t apply to them? Do they think that because they’re from “superpower” countries they feel more powerful? I hate people like them. I hope they get banned from traveling abroad forever.
So, I'm sick and my regular GP doesn't work on Friday. Ok, I make an appointment at Urgent Care. Only to get there and find out even though its says URGENT CARE they bill as a primary and since my insurance is an HMO and they aren't my primary, I have no coverage.
So, its either go to ER, which this really isn't an emergency per se or wait til Monday or Tuesday until my GP can see me.
This sucks.
So, its either go to ER, which this really isn't an emergency per se or wait til Monday or Tuesday until my GP can see me.
This sucks.
And yup, my uncle is somehow still in denial that his dad needs full-time care. I'd been holding out hope that whenever the inevitable incident happened, it would be serious, but not serious enough something really bad happened. That way it would be a wakeup call that something had to change. Well, the incident has happened, and it's the exact ideal circumstances it needed to be. And he's still in a state of denial. It seems like he won't change his mind until his dad is either seriously injured, or killed. I really, truly hate him rn.
Apple’s annoying features that are unnecessary.
I clicked my bluetooth icon to turn it off, it instead showed me a list of gadgets to connect and switch to, no i want it off.
it’s the same when i quickly want to take a picture of my cat and instead of the camera opening, it will ask me whether I want a video, a selfie, fucking fuckity fuck just open and dont give me choices what I want to happen.
I clicked my bluetooth icon to turn it off, it instead showed me a list of gadgets to connect and switch to, no i want it off.
it’s the same when i quickly want to take a picture of my cat and instead of the camera opening, it will ask me whether I want a video, a selfie, fucking fuckity fuck just open and dont give me choices what I want to happen.