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post your major complaint here
- Thread starter 1964dodge
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My dad just got the results of a scan. The cancer is in his pancreas, bile ducts, liver, and bones.
The best hope is still the same, that chemo will put him in remission, and he’ll get good and old before it comes back. But that’s looking less and less likely with every new thing we learn.
After Jessica died, I couldn’t take anymore. With my health declining (the heart attack, then the stroke), I thought I would die next and I was happy that I wouldn’t have to deal with anything like that again. Now it looks like the universe can’t even give me that.
The best hope is still the same, that chemo will put him in remission, and he’ll get good and old before it comes back. But that’s looking less and less likely with every new thing we learn.
After Jessica died, I couldn’t take anymore. With my health declining (the heart attack, then the stroke), I thought I would die next and I was happy that I wouldn’t have to deal with anything like that again. Now it looks like the universe can’t even give me that.
My best friend is in hospital. Apparently he's tachycardic, his heart rate was at 180 on admittance. He asked me not to worry, and since the US election i've been reflecting how it's a useless emotion, so i'm choosing not to. But still, i hope he'll be alright, and it'll turn out to be something innocuous that set his heart off.
I'm feeling kinda defeated if i'm being honest. It just seems like i had such simple ambitions, but it feels like i'm constantly being set back by all these people who won't stop going for my ankles. I have all these things i need to sort, and it's getting really overwhelming, and it seems like everyone involved is determined to make it as painful and hard as possible. I'm so tempted to just give up and admit i'll never be a functional member of society, since society is so clearly determined to trap me in a state of dysfunction.
I feel like i'm drowning. And nobody's talking to me, nobody's helping me, nobody's cooperating with me. All i get is complications and objections and silence. It's driving me fucking insane. I'm stuck on this stupid fucking hamster wheel, going around and around and around and getting absolutely nowhere.
I just want to function. I just want to be present in the world again, instead of hiding away from it. I just want to stop depending on the state to exist. I just want to fucking transition already. Will everyone stop making these simple goals so fucking complicated please?
I just want to function. I just want to be present in the world again, instead of hiding away from it. I just want to stop depending on the state to exist. I just want to fucking transition already. Will everyone stop making these simple goals so fucking complicated please?
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A difference of opinion, I can handle, as long as the opinion is based on facts. I may not always like it, but I understand when two people look at a situation and come to different conclusions on how to handle it.
But what do you even do when people are ignorant? Even willfully so? When a political party has no problem outright lying to people, and people eat it up rather than look into the issues themselves? When they come up with arguments and justifications in favor of them because the lies support their prejudices?
This is the American in me talking but the party of “fuck your feelings” is really good at ignoring facts in favor of them.
You go where the evidence leads you. You do not sub in your personal biases for conclusions and work back from there. If there is no evidence one way or the other, then you allow your beliefs to guide you, but you do not ignore facts just because they are inconvenient to you.
And just because everyone is allowed their own opinion doesn’t mean some of those opinions aren’t dogshit.
But what do you even do when people are ignorant? Even willfully so? When a political party has no problem outright lying to people, and people eat it up rather than look into the issues themselves? When they come up with arguments and justifications in favor of them because the lies support their prejudices?
This is the American in me talking but the party of “fuck your feelings” is really good at ignoring facts in favor of them.
You go where the evidence leads you. You do not sub in your personal biases for conclusions and work back from there. If there is no evidence one way or the other, then you allow your beliefs to guide you, but you do not ignore facts just because they are inconvenient to you.
And just because everyone is allowed their own opinion doesn’t mean some of those opinions aren’t dogshit.
They've done a procedure, and now it seems like he's gonna be alright. Seems something caused a GI bleed, and the bleed caused the tachycardia. They've fixed the bleed and he seems to be stable, although they're keeping him in for 72 hours to monitor him and give him some kind of infusion. So he's not exactly chuffed about it, but it sounds like he's alright, and he'll be able to go back to normal in a few days, which is the most important thing.
I'm feeling calmer about this too. People have been being difficult for a while, and a specific bit of bureaucracy picked today of all days to catch up with me, and give me reason to stress about my future plans potentially going up in flames, so some of my feelings about my friend may have come out sideways at that. The issue that got to me has been resolved, and as i say, the friend is ok now, so i'm feeling better about things, i just had a bit of a moment for a while there. Sometimes things get the better of me, but i bounce back, and that's what matters.
Sorry if this is most of what I talk about nowadays, but it’s most of what I think about.
So, after some testing, it turns out I have vascular EDS. Not the more common kind that mostly affects the skin and joints, but the kind that mostly affects the connective tissue inside the blood vessels. That’s why I had a heart attack, then a stroke at a young age.
Locking myself away for a few years after Jessica died to abuse dissociatives certainly didn’t help, but I’ve always been much more prone to these types of health problems.
It’s nice to have an answer, and it’s nice to know that my perception of my failing health wasn’t just my imagination. It’s not so nice to know that I am indeed far more likely to die at a young age from something similar; I’m much much more likely to have such an issue again, and there’s nothing to be done about it.
So, after some testing, it turns out I have vascular EDS. Not the more common kind that mostly affects the skin and joints, but the kind that mostly affects the connective tissue inside the blood vessels. That’s why I had a heart attack, then a stroke at a young age.
Locking myself away for a few years after Jessica died to abuse dissociatives certainly didn’t help, but I’ve always been much more prone to these types of health problems.
It’s nice to have an answer, and it’s nice to know that my perception of my failing health wasn’t just my imagination. It’s not so nice to know that I am indeed far more likely to die at a young age from something similar; I’m much much more likely to have such an issue again, and there’s nothing to be done about it.
My stomach has been hurting most of the day. Mostly started after the Spurs match. I don't know why. Maybe just I had been stressed out and bummed out about the match, but idk maybe too much caffeine, maybe just how my eating and sleeping schedules have been screwed up. But I was feeling kinda sick and almost like I'd eaten too much, but all I'd had since the previous afternoon was a scotch egg and a small order of fries. The pain got so bad that I could barely walk, so I gave up on trying to make it to the bus stop and just ordered a Lyft home. I still have pain now hours later, but it's not as sharp.