Practical advice on how to earn money with agoraphobia

[ThanosIsKing]

I have been keeping a journal of sorts on this site located here: https://www.suicideforum.com/community/threads/38-with-nowhere-to-go.176301/

The tldr version is this: I had a job as a pharmacy technician for the past 5 years. I had a panic attack at a very busy time one day way back in May of 2023 and was fired as a result. I also had my license for pharmacy stripped the day after I was fired. Of the last 5 jobs I have had in the last 5 years this is the third that has fired me for having a panic attack. One laid me off because of COVID and I quit the last one to make a lateral move with better hours and better pay. In the wake of this history I have become something of a recluse, afraid to leave my apartment and VERY afraid of applying for another job because I just cannot take the chance that a panic attack will get me fired yet again. I have talked with my doctor and we have diagnosed that I have a strong case of agoraphobia, in addition to my previous diagnosis of ASD and chronic depression. And now I'm in a pickle because my unemployment benefits ran out and I can't afford to pay my rent without massive help. I am completely broke, in fact I'm $55 in the red. I need to learn how to earn money without leaving the apartment. Any ideas please?

 

[may71]

I think you've tried contacting vocational rehab. about getting services a while back, but they didn't get back to you. Getting help from them is probably the quickest and easiest path to getting a job, if you can convince them to give you services.

You really shouldn't have to contact them more than once to get them to initiate the application process, but it may also be necessary.

 

[LonelyHiker]

If you have a computer and internet, you could look into remote customer service jobs, or medical coding/transcription.

 

[ThanosIsKing]

Now the parents are switching tactics. They think I'm lying about applying for SSDI with my lawyer and are now insisting that everything that goes to or from my lawyer go through them as well. Again totally controlling my life and using impending homelessness to control my life. They want to know what the turnaround time on this will be. They also insist that I get a part time job and that they want me to disclose my panic attacks to my employers. They also think that the umpiring is a stupid goal and that it will only lead to more panic attacks. My mom also thinks that I'm going to call the cops on her at the slightest provocation and wants to keep her phone on video record any time I visit her and her dogs (which I really adore). They really know how to blackmail me. They are evil. I wish there was a way for me to bypass them and earn some money until the umpiring job comes around but I'm at a loss.

 

[may71]

I'm sorry it's like this. Do you think if you had a therapist, they'd be able to mediate between you and your parents? 211 might be able to help set you up with a free or low cost one.

 

[ThanosIsKing]

I'm sorry it's like this. Do you think if you had a therapist, they'd be able to mediate between you and your parents? 211 might be able to help set you up with a free or low cost one.

I have had a therapist for as long as I can remember (I think since I was 10 or so). I've been trying to contact my current therapist but the rub is that said therapist is also a longtime friend of my mom's. That's how she was introduced to me. I'll try calling 211 on Monday to see if I can find a different one but don't think much can be done with a new or current therapist. When my parents make up their minds on something like this there's very little that can change their minds. I kind of want to respond to them by calling them out on their insistence on making these unreasonable demands. "Hey, if you have no intention on sending me this money just say so. Don't play these games where you put conditions on giving me money that you know I'm going to say no to."

 

[may71]

I think it's good that you're trying to find solutions for this. I'm sorry nothing has worked out so far. Hopefully things will work out soon.

 

[ThanosIsKing]

I'm starting to panic. I have yet to find a job that is willing to employ me in any of these fields and my bills are quickly coming due. I'm already almost at -$200 and I still have several pieces of gear I have to buy in order to work as an umpire starting in April. What else could I apply for? What else could I try?

 

[LonelyHiker]

If you have a dependable vehicle, you could do door dash, instacart, grub hub or something similar. I did it as a side gig about 6 years ago for about a year or so and was able to pull in an extra 800 a month or so.

 

[ThanosIsKing]

If you have a dependable vehicle, you could do door dash, instacart, grub hub or something similar. I did it as a side gig about 6 years ago for about a year or so and was able to pull in an extra 800 a month or so.

Unfortunately I don't have a vehicle at all. Crashed my last car avoiding an oncoming car in the boonies way back in I think 2021. Been afraid to drive ever since. Owned 3 cars in my life and ended up totaling them all in one way or another.

 

[ThanosIsKing]

As a little update I'm pretty much screwed. I haven't been able to find any companies that are hiring for remote jobs, and the ones that are hiring don't want to hire me based on my track record of getting fired. Which is a huge problem because not only do I have a couple huge bills ($300) due in the next couple of days but I also have to spend about that same amount on the rest of my umpire gear before the season starts and I have no way to get that sort of money. Should I try a Rule violation for the short term? I literally don't know what to do here.

 

[MAC0]

I worked for myself for 15 years before my suppler went bust forcing me to sign on one place that has helped me with my depression is a place called reed partnership they offer help to get you in work and course to help with anything stopping you like depression

cannot say how good they are as they got me a job I start today before I could take any so I am going to do them remotely later

 

[ThanosIsKing]

I worked for myself for 15 years before my suppler went bust forcing me to sign on one place that has helped me with my depression is a place called reed partnership they offer help to get you in work and course to help with anything stopping you like depression

cannot say how good they are as they got me a job I start today before I could take any so I am going to do them remotely later

Don't know if they help within the US because the closest I could find is Reed in Partnership which is based in the UK. Other than that seems like a good place.

 

[may71]

What else could I apply for?

What about trying a temp agency?

 

[MAC0]

Don't know if they help within the US because the closest I could find is Reed in Partnership which is based in the UK. Other than that seems like a good place.

Yeah sorry my bad being from the UK I went with my experience not sure if there is the same kind of help in the US

 

[ThanosIsKing]

I've been talking to my "therapist" and even she has been pushing me to get another job, even if it's one that would keep me away from the public and have me working 10 hours a week. But I keep telling them that I get panic attacks whenever I so much as think about interviewing for a job. That's the beauty of umpiring, that I didn't have to interview and got the position just because I brought it up in conversation. I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to panic at whatever job I end up getting and being fired because of it. And ironically that gives me panic attacks in the first place which makes finding a job almost impossible. But they don't want to hear it. They think I'm making all of this up. I hate my family.

 

[LonelyHiker]

Have you considered applying for SSI or SSDI?

 

[cots]

A lot of people tend to think that mental illnesses are made-up make-beliefs / excuses to be lazy, but they cannot be further from the truth.

However much effort "normal" people are putting in, we are putting in double, if not triple, the effort.

It's not easy getting a job if one is plagued by agoraphobia.

I see that you have tried getting remote work to little avail. The remote work industry is very saturated. A lot of people, including those ALREADY EMPLOYED, are on these platforms looking for second jobs.

Are you ok with going around the neighbourhood? Within a certain radius of where you live? Could you perhaps post advertisements and ask if you could run errands for people living near you and get paid? While not a long term solution, it should help you pay some urgent bills.

 

[ThanosIsKing]

Have you considered applying for SSI or SSDI?

I already have, way back in September. If you go to my "journal" over in My Story, you'll notice that this has been a point of contention between me and my parents. I recently hired a SSDI lawyer to see if anything can be done to speed up the process, but my parents are convinced that hiring a lawyer WILL make things go faster when in fact they aren't. They demand to have unfettered access to said lawyer and to know every little thing about my application process. I've told them that the process could take over a year before I would be accepted into the program. Hell I have an uncle who has said TO MY MOM'S FACE that the process can take forever and yet they still hound me about me getting on SSDI, to the point where I had to call the police because they were harassing me so badly.

Are you ok with going around the neighbourhood? Within a certain radius of where you live? Could you perhaps post advertisements and ask if you could run errands for people living near you and get paid? While not a long term solution, it should help you pay some urgent bills.

Kinda hard to run errands for people in the neighborhood without a car, and I've been deathly scared to even try to get behind the wheel ever since I was run off the road and had my car flip on its hood back in 2021. I also don't know my neighbors very well or at all, since I've lived the longest in my current apartment complex. Which is kind of sad now that I think about it.

 

[alice202]

ThanosisKing... I don't know what kind of job you are looking for, but there are a lot of work from home jobs. Ever since Covid, a lot of jobs are no longer in the office. I do computer support, and my job is work from home. I have neighbors in my apartment building who work for a student loan servicer and an insurance company... they work from home also. Sometimes you need to have your own computer, but most of the time the company provides it. Some of these might involve answering questions about accounts or orders but they aren't too complicated. Keep working on the SSDI, but don't stop trying for work. In the long run it will give you more independence.
Best of luck,
Alice