Pure Torment

[Wrick Malcof]

I can't just be a guy can I? I can't just live this wretched life from end to end. I have to battle the constant swelling of my emotions, and the crippling pain of their absence when they fade.

I was having a terrible day, and just waiting for it to end. My coworker recognized this and hugged me. Now, I can't get her out of my head. All she did was show the basest amount of compassion and I'm practically infatuated now. Fucking really!? I can't just move on can I? Of course not! Now I have this emotional roller coaster to ride until I can get home and sleep it off! All because a woman was nice to me!

I FUCKING HATE BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!

 

[Dinolaur]

Hi @Wrick Malcof, it so lovely that someone showed you some compassion in this day and age, you don’t often see that these days! Is she a friend? Or just a coworker? It’s nothing to be ashamed of to gain feelings towards someone who has given you affection. Us as humans all get these. Men and women! You’re only human. We all have these basic needs to feel loved and wanted. You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of s*

 

[Wrick Malcof]

Hi @Wrick Malcof, it so lovely that someone showed you some compassion in this day and age, you don’t often see that these days! Is she a friend? Or just a coworker? It’s nothing to be ashamed of to gain feelings towards someone who has given you affection. Us as humans all get these. Men and women! You’re only human. We all have these basic needs to feel loved and wanted. You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of s*

She and I are just friends. I'm not ashamed, I'm infuriated. I basically have to tell people not to show me affection, because they might make my day worse. If she sees my long face again, what then? "Hey I know you're worried about me, but if you hug me again I'll fall head over heels for you and my week will be a fucking emotional travesty, so thanks but no thanks." What a way to feel about your friends. And of course it can't be a niche problem, because it's also a fucking cliche. Can't show any affection to men because they just fall for you. Really glad I get to contribute to that one!

 

[Dinolaur]

She and I are just friends. I'm not ashamed, I'm infuriated. I basically have to tell people not to show me affection, because they might make my day worse. If she sees my long face again, what then? "Hey I know you're worried about me, but if you hug me again I'll fall head over heels for you and my week will be a fucking emotional travesty, so thanks but no thanks." What a way to feel about your friends. And of course it can't be a niche problem, because it's also a fucking cliche. Can't show any affection to men because they just fall for you. Really glad I get to contribute to that one!

I get it, but maybe say you’re uncomfortable with affection? As some people generally are. I don’t know. I haven’t experienced the same

 

[Wrick Malcof]

I get it, but maybe say you’re uncomfortable with affection? As some people generally are. I don’t know. I haven’t experienced the same

I wasn't lashing at you. If I seemed to be, I apologize. I'm not uncomfortable with affection. I just wish I could enjoy it without being emotionally destroyed

 

[Dinolaur]

I wasn't lashing at you. If I seemed to be, I apologize. I'm not uncomfortable with affection. I just wish I could enjoy it without being emotionally destroyed

No that’s fine if you’re not comfortable make the person aware they’re not going to know if you don’t tell them x

 

[Wrick Malcof]

No that’s fine if you’re not comfortable make the person aware they’re not going to know if you don’t tell them x

But it's not really discomfort is it? I can handle discomfort. My mask pushes my moustache into my nose, and I deal with that all day. My feet are a size too wide and normal pairs hurt, but I wear them. Hell I've been sleeping on a couch for almost 2 years.

This is more than discomfort, it's disconcerting. From her perspective all she did was give me a hug. If that's what a hug does to me, I can imagine she'd be pretty put off. I know I would be. But the really shitty part is I want her to hug me as often as possible.

Before the hug I felt so small and angry. During the hug I felt relieved in a way I've never been before. And then it ended, and now I'm living in a world where that feeling exists, but I can't recreate it. I'm gonna start treating this poor girl like drug

 

[Dinolaur]

But it's not really discomfort is it? I can handle discomfort. My mask pushes my moustache into my nose, and I deal with that all day. My feet are a size too wide and normal pairs hurt, but I wear them. Hell I've been sleeping on a couch for almost 2 years.

This is more than discomfort, it's disconcerting. From her perspective all she did was give me a hug. If that's what a hug does to me, I can imagine she'd be pretty put off. I know I would be. But the really shitty part is I want her to hug me as often as possible.

Before the hug I felt so small and angry. During the hug I felt relieved in a way I've never been before. And then it ended, and now I'm living in a world where that feeling exists, but I can't recreate it. I'm gonna start treating this poor girl like drug

I’m so sorry you’ve got to go through this. I don’t know what else to say. Hugs are supposed to make you feel relieve though

 

[MosesY]

It is normal to feel some sexual feelings when a male (yourself) is hugged by a female. It is not really normal to obsess about them afterwards. I think this is how you are feeling, that is what I understand from the words you wrote. You wish to be "normal" and are not. The truth is noone is normal. We are all different. It is best to embrace our differences, use them to our advantage. I would suggest talk therapy for you if you are not currently doing it. You are a good person with good traits, this thing has just turned your mind for a little while.

 

[Wrick Malcof]

It is normal to feel some sexual feelings when a male (yourself) is hugged by a female. It is not really normal to obsess about them afterwards. I think this is how you are feeling, that is what I understand from the words you wrote. You wish to be "normal" and are not. The truth is noone is normal. We are all different. It is best to embrace our differences, use them to our advantage. I would suggest talk therapy for you if you are not currently doing it. You are a good person with good traits, this thing has just turned your mind for a little while.

While I understand it is normal, that normalcy is part of my fury for the whole thing. This is the way I am, for no better reason than I am this way. What a frustratingly arbitrary aspect of one's existence. I can so strongly attach myself to someone on an emotional level that it can ruin my day. But I haven't the slightest control over when it happens or how strongly it happens. I just have to cope with it. How dreadful