Yesterday was not good and I clung to this forum. Thanks. When I woke this a.m was amazed as had slept for six hours. With my coffee returned here and reread guidelines. The bit about not deleting accounts seemed important. Have always known that I isolate myself when down. The pushing people away then blaming myself is a revelation to me. This is what I have done this last year at least three times. The last friend I have left and haven't seen for a year I am keeping at bay. When I try to look at each loss it seems unfortunate and when I've discussed it with outsiders seems reasonable to them. I know that three times, each in different ways is not coincidence that it was about me. That's why the guidelines reference was a revelation. Help please, what do I do now?