Putting yourself down

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by Witty_Sarcasm, May 24, 2016.

  1. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Has anyone ever done this as a means to cope? It seems to hurt less when I make fun of myself, as opposed to when others do it. I remember writing derogatory songs about myself when I was in 6th grade, and everyone wanted my autograph. One girl in the class asked me why I did that to myself, because it's mean. I don't really know, except that I use humor as a means to escape from unpleasant situations. Has anyone here ever done anything like that, or am I just totally off my rocker?
    Brian777 likes this.
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    I think a lot of people do this. I think its partly a defence thing - sort of "If I say it first then people can't use it to hurt me". I don't do it "with humour" - not with jokes or to be funny about myself. I do yell at myself when I am hurt though. Really really unkind mean nasty things - tell myself I am worthless and revolting and deserve the pain (whatever the pain happens to be at that time). I don't know if that is a coping mechanism or a 'release' - I feel like so much of the time I pretend to be someone else (someone together and smart and capable and strong) that when it gets 'too much' there has to be some sort of release or reset.

    I will say that if you use humour against yourself, its probably damaging. It is impossible to tell yourself bad, derogatory things on a regular basis and not have it damage your self esteem. When your self esteem is already in the toilet, it isn't a good coping strategy. It probably isn't a good coping strategy anyway - it is not a million miles from self harm. I know it is very very hard to stop though. You're not off your rocker and you're far from alone - but it is something you (we) should work on doing less.
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  3. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey Witty, I use humor a lot, against myself and others. I agree with Lu, getting the first shot at your own faults in a humorous way, beats others to the punch. Definetly I use it as a defence mechanism, even humor against others takes the spot lite off of me. I'm trying to stop doing this, especially against others, it can be hurtful even if it's not meant to be.
    On the positive side, humor is uplifting, I guess it's just finding a therapeutic way to use it, without bringing yourself and others down. Most of the jobs I've worked the people have always had this verbal banter back and forth, so it's easy for it to become a habit. It ends up being a mode of self defence to survive work, cause if the rest of the herd senses weakness they'll attack :) good question Witty. Take care
    Witty_Sarcasm likes this.
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Even the jokes I make about myself seem to be a bit on the bitter side. The poetry I write about myself isn't even funny at all. I was always told bad things about myself, so now I just repeat them with a bit of a sarcastic and cutting edge. I figure if I can laugh at myself and get others to laugh, it's not as bad. It's still a bad way to cope, and I hope that we can both change that, because it's really not a healthy thing to do.
    Brian777 likes this.
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I try not to do it too much towards others, although I have written joking poems and stories about people who have really hurt me. It's nothing too mean, but I probably shouldn't do it. I just make light of the situation so it doesn't hurt as much. I should stick to a type of humor that doesn't hurt myself or others. I've been sarcastic for a long time, just to deal with the pitfalls of life.
    Brian777 likes this.