I had a rather disappointing session with my psychiatrist today, and I have decided that my mental health, time, and money are too important to be wasted on someone who is simply not helping me.
She had someone who is trying to become a psychologist sit in during my appointment. This made me so uneasy. I wish I would have told her I didn't feel comfortable with this, but it happened so fast and caught me totally off guard. Throughout the appointment, she would interrupt me mid-sentence, and kept badgering me about my social life, which is non-existent due to my severe anxiety and trust issues. I just wanted to tell her "l have no friends", but I really didn't want to open up with that other woman there. Her presence held me back from saying so much. Both of them would even laugh at times that I felt were extremely inappropriate. I was clearly not trying to be funny at all. For example, when I did finally tell her "thank God I have my family because without them I wouldn't have anyone", she actually laughed. I felt so humiliated. I should have walked out at that moment.
I am dealing with trauma from having been bullied the majority of my life, having panic attacks as soon as I wake up, and constantly being bombarded with thoughts of just ending it all. I WISH I could socialize and make friends with ease. How dare you laugh at me you rude, arrogant bitch?
I am embarrassed, ashamed, and feel completely belittled. I have yet to see a mental health professional who is respectful and caring towards me.
My next step is to see a therapist and find a new psychiatrist. I have never been to therapy before, and I'm so scared that it will turn out to be yet another negative experience.
I'm really beginning to lose hope in mental health professionals. I would love some hugs right now
She had someone who is trying to become a psychologist sit in during my appointment. This made me so uneasy. I wish I would have told her I didn't feel comfortable with this, but it happened so fast and caught me totally off guard. Throughout the appointment, she would interrupt me mid-sentence, and kept badgering me about my social life, which is non-existent due to my severe anxiety and trust issues. I just wanted to tell her "l have no friends", but I really didn't want to open up with that other woman there. Her presence held me back from saying so much. Both of them would even laugh at times that I felt were extremely inappropriate. I was clearly not trying to be funny at all. For example, when I did finally tell her "thank God I have my family because without them I wouldn't have anyone", she actually laughed. I felt so humiliated. I should have walked out at that moment.
I am dealing with trauma from having been bullied the majority of my life, having panic attacks as soon as I wake up, and constantly being bombarded with thoughts of just ending it all. I WISH I could socialize and make friends with ease. How dare you laugh at me you rude, arrogant bitch?
I am embarrassed, ashamed, and feel completely belittled. I have yet to see a mental health professional who is respectful and caring towards me.
My next step is to see a therapist and find a new psychiatrist. I have never been to therapy before, and I'm so scared that it will turn out to be yet another negative experience.
I'm really beginning to lose hope in mental health professionals. I would love some hugs right now
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