questions about BDP

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by WOF42, Apr 6, 2014.

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  1. WOF42

    WOF42 Member

    I know what BDP is but I have no idea how to cope with it, I was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to live with it, particularly how to maintain relationships with other people, I always seem to push everyone I meet away within a few months of meeting them. I was only recently diagnosed and am wondering about peoples experience with treatments?
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    It can be very frustrating for many people. The best results are reported with true DBT therapy, which is relatively hard to find somebody actually qualified in it. My daughter did the DBT therapy and though she genuinely hated it, she also can see the results and the results are very apparent to us. While the best source of information is from your personal psychiatric team, I would recommend you look into the DBT therapy. Medication is of little use usually in most personality disorders but can sometimes be used to assist with some symptoms , for example anger or rage if those are an issue. The best thing you can do is what you are doing - get information and learn as much as possible so you can understand it better to help cope with the difficulties.
     
  3. WOF42

    WOF42 Member

    from what I have read about DBT it sounds like it would be difficult, I think I can understand why she may have hated it. Do you have any information sources? everything I can find is either to do with treatments or what to do if you know someone with BDP, I cant find anything on actually living with it that is helpful.
     
  4. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Yes, I have a problem with pushing people away also. Most people I meet, I would probably push them away within a month. However, some relationships I've had have lasted about 2 years, including the relationship I'm currently in with my husband. Unfortunately, just going to a general therapist and psychiatrist for this probably isn't going to help. I've tried like 5-6 different therapists and I have absolutely nothing to show for it. Medication never worked for me for this either, granted they told me from the beginning that it probably wouldn't. However, what I do think would be helpful for this is trying something that specifically focuses on DBT therapy and Borderline Personality Disorder. General therapists know a little bit about it, but honestly most of their clients have depression and anxiety, so a BPD patient isn't that common of a thing for them, nor is having to do DBT instead of CBT with the patient. That's probably why my therapy pretty much failed me. So what I would recommend is some kind of group therapy for BPD, or DBT. Or a therapist that has specific credentials in dealing with personality disorders, preferably BPD itself. On the downside though, both are pretty hard to find (not to mention expensive) and I live in a major city, so smaller cities and towns probably don't even have such a thing. However, that's the only thing that I can really recommend besides the obvious alternatives like self-help books. I tried a few of those, myself, too, which weren't particularly helpful, but I have always wanted to get Marsha Linehan's "DBT for BPD" text along with the workbook, although I've seen the price for the text and it's quite a bit. Also though, in regard to pushing people away, yes it is something that needs to be addressed and treated, however do remember that if the person truly and honestly cares for you/loves you, they will not be pushed away no matter what you do. My husband is an example of that. I've had some pretty fucked up, insane moments during the course of our relationship and granted he's freaked out on me quite a few times about how I act which I deserved, but he's forgiven me and he's still here. So, if the person lets themselves be pushed away, chances are they're probably not deserving of you anyway. Also, it might help to think about why you try to push people away or what you're hoping to accomplish by doing so, and try to see if there are any other alternatives that you can think of instead.
     
  5. libra

    libra Active Member

    I'm awaiting DBT i hear its very effective. I'm running out of options. feel like I'm putting all my eggs in one basket. I've lost many friends and relatives throughout this period of uncertainty. mostly through lack of understanding about the condition itself, the inability to sympathise and the stigma attached to mental health sent everyone packing. the ones that have stood by me have been great but during the wait for DBT even I can see their tolerance and patience is wearing thin.
    how do they think the sufferer feels.
    this isn't the choice anyone would make as a life path for themselves.
    hope your able to get the right help and treatment. good luck
     
  6. K8E

    K8E Well-Known Member

    I'm waiting for assessment to enter a specialist service in my home town. Meantime I'm just staying to stay alive. I have some hope because the last four years have been exceptionally stressful by anyone's standards and I used to be very high functioning - completed a high level of education (including postgraduate), have held down a very responsible, stressful job for over 12 years and was married for 20 years until my breakdown.
    My psychiatrist says that the extreme stressors I've experienced are overwhelming my coping strategies. I just feel horrible and sometimes wonder whether I will make a full recovery or is it all over?
     
  7. princessofelegance

    princessofelegance Well-Known Member

    Im seriously struggling with my BPD too at the moment. I've already done one round of DBT based therapy and due to lack of understanding and not practising the skills i was taught i've fallen into dispair and general BPD madness. Im due to start a second round of DBT based therapy in the next month or so. So hopefully this time it works for me. Just a word of advice its very difficult. Well certianly the programme i did was difficult. It makes you think about a lot of things you push to the bottom of the pile and bring them back to the surface again. Which is what needs to happen to be able to successfully live with BPD symptoms.

    Good luck with your therapy :) x
     
  8. K8E

    K8E Well-Known Member

    Thanks princess. I spend a lot of time avoiding (dissociating) at the moment and the thought of digging everything up again is hard. I'm not sure whether I'm going to be able to go back to work as I've been told that it's a two year programme and I doubt that all of my therapy will be outside working hours......This is a nightmare.
    I'm sorry that you are having a hard time too. x
     
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