Unhelpful thoughts and worries and memories; struggling to get rid of them, pushed around by them. It is overwhelming, as the flame increases with intensity, confidence burns away. Mental chatter dominates my emotions, insisting it has the upper hand. Precious momentum has been lost. Is it possible to look deeper and see the forest for the trees while the fire exerts its energy? It is my fault it continues to spread. It is I, that has ignited what lied beneath and I have added fuel to the fire. It is not working out as expected. This has shaken my faith in my spiritual path and I am unable to rid the unwanted thoughts, feelings, sensations, urges and memories. Suddenly, everything I have accepted seems doubtful. There is still this gnawing feeling of negativity that I am missing something. It is permeating my entire being and I am ready to explode from the energy it created. If I avoid it, it will fill me with hate and anger. Then it will have won, taking my heart and soul with it.