Raging Fire

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by nightfallagain, Jul 20, 2013.

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  1. nightfallagain

    nightfallagain Well-Known Member

    Unhelpful thoughts and worries and memories; struggling to get rid of them, pushed around by them. It is overwhelming, as the flame increases with intensity, confidence burns away. Mental chatter dominates my emotions, insisting it has the upper hand. Precious momentum has been lost. Is it possible to look deeper and see the forest for the trees while the fire exerts its energy? It is my fault it continues to spread. It is I, that has ignited what lied beneath and I have added fuel to the fire. It is not working out as expected. This has shaken my faith in my spiritual path and I am unable to rid the unwanted thoughts, feelings, sensations, urges and memories. Suddenly, everything I have accepted seems doubtful. There is still this gnawing feeling of negativity that I am missing something. It is permeating my entire being and I am ready to explode from the energy it created. If I avoid it, it will fill me with hate and anger. Then it will have won, taking my heart and soul with it.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You write so beautifully hun your description of your turmoil you are in I hope that you have support therapist to help you diminish the fire diminish the negativity and feel hope again hugs
     
  3. nightfallagain

    nightfallagain Well-Known Member

    Although internally I feel frustrated and confused, I can no longer let what others do or say influence my choices. I have arrived at an important starting point and it is time to set out on the path that I have always wanted to take - one step at a time, embracing any fragment of confidence within. Yet I don't have a clear view of what I want, therefore getting to that place of peace and stability is doubtful. Tension and conflict between heart and mind increases in strength. I am being challenged over and over trying to escape the shadows of my fear. I am void-of-course.

    "The only helping hand I can rely on is my own"
     
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