Ramdom question

[Phteven]

So I'm 34 years old, gay, never had a relationship and have very limited sexual experience meaning I haven't actually done "the deed" so to speak. So I guess what I'm curious about is, well if your straight it's really easy to figure out if your a virgin, but would you consider a gay man a virgin if he hasn't gone all the way with a partner?

I had this conversation with a friend before but I was just curious what people here thought.

 

[Ziggy]

Does it matter if you're a virgin or not?

 

[Lyse]

According to me, you lose your virginity if you sexually undress in front of another (or via video, of course), and if you for instance have humped each other through the clothes, and of course if you have fondled, and needless to say if you've given a handjob or fingered someone. Getting felt up willingly also makes you lose it, really. Other, similar ways to "already" lose it also exist. Yup, I'm very conservative in this regard, but so should everybody be.

 

[Phteven]

I guess it kind of bothers me....I mean I get depressed thinking about it some times, so I guess it matters on some level to me

 

[Ziggy]

I suppose I could have lost my virginity, but I never think of it in terms of 'did I' or 'didn't I'. In those situations I just think 'Did I do the right thing?' and in most of them I think I did the right thing by not sleeping with them, so I can be proud of that.

 

[jameslyons]

You're on a suicide forum. Clearly you have enough life experience to not be considered a virgin. I should imagine though that whomever youre with will be able to tell you haven't had anal sex before. Maybe I don't know..

 

[Lyse]

You're on a suicide forum. Clearly you have enough life experience to not be considered a virgin.

That makes no sense at all. What does depression or suicidal feelings have to do with virginity?

 

[JBird]

Losing your virginity is when you have sex with someone for the first time, whether it be with a female, male or a dog (not that i condone any sexual activity like that). If you've had full sexual intercourse, you're not a virgin. its all pretty simple isn't it or have i completely misunderstood?

 

[Lyse]

its all pretty simple isn't it or have i completely misunderstood?

Some would say you have.

 

[JBird]

ah well, wouldn't be the first time

 

[Phteven]

If I do everything but intercourse I'm just not sure if I would still be a virgin.....anyways I guess it was kind of a dumb question so never mind

 

[JBird]

To be honest a lot of people question it, i have done in the past as have my friends but i've been taught full sexual intercourse, whether it lasts 5 mins or 5 hours or if no one gets 'there' then your no longer classed a virgin...

lack of experience shouldn't stop ya, get out there and have some RESPONSIBLE fun :P

 

[Godsdrummer]

I wish I could have some responsible fun. Sigh.

 

[Phteven]

Your right that it shouldn't stop me from getting out there and having "RESPONSIBLE fun", but because I'm like ugly, I really don't get many turns a bat so to speak. I guess that's what bothering me the most about my lack of experience. The odds of me finding someone who would actually want to be with me is pretty slim.

 

[Avarice]

<3​

I'm not exactly an expert on this topic, but I'm with JBird. I always thought you were a virgin up until you had full sexual intercourse with a person (never really given much thought to whether it applies to animals). Anything else, in my opinion, doesn't take away your virginity, probably more your innocence?

I'd never consider oral sex or fondling or anything other than actual sex as taking your virginity and quite shocked that some people do.

Good luck in your love life though. I hope you meet someone eventually.​