Im feeling a little frustrated.
For starters I hate asking for help. Its just not in my nature. Forceing myself to come to this community and others feels pretty degrading. And In spite of my ability to talk to others about stuff I have no idea how to handle responces when I relate what I am going through.
I feel so out of place when I get a compliment or when somene says their sorry for what I have been through. And on top of that I seem to have the worlds cheapest laptop right now so half the time I hit a key it dosnt type. That is pissing me off pretty good.
Then theres listening to my ex screw my best friend in the next room. Its a new kind of degrading feeling. Maybe my masochism extends beond that of physical pain because theres no reason for me to tolerate that. To put myself through that.
And afterwards I still sit there trying to be civil telling them I want to heal our friendships. But are they my friends? What kind of friends pull that kind of shit? Im not thinking straight. In spite to my new found dirrection in life I need to work on quite a few things to ensure my ability to follow through and give my self a chance.
Im not even going to mention the faces in chat because I found an awsome button that turns them off. If the person that made that button ever reads this understand that your button was the high point of my day. You good sir are kick ass.
Rant / over
For starters I hate asking for help. Its just not in my nature. Forceing myself to come to this community and others feels pretty degrading. And In spite of my ability to talk to others about stuff I have no idea how to handle responces when I relate what I am going through.
I feel so out of place when I get a compliment or when somene says their sorry for what I have been through. And on top of that I seem to have the worlds cheapest laptop right now so half the time I hit a key it dosnt type. That is pissing me off pretty good.
Then theres listening to my ex screw my best friend in the next room. Its a new kind of degrading feeling. Maybe my masochism extends beond that of physical pain because theres no reason for me to tolerate that. To put myself through that.
And afterwards I still sit there trying to be civil telling them I want to heal our friendships. But are they my friends? What kind of friends pull that kind of shit? Im not thinking straight. In spite to my new found dirrection in life I need to work on quite a few things to ensure my ability to follow through and give my self a chance.
Im not even going to mention the faces in chat because I found an awsome button that turns them off. If the person that made that button ever reads this understand that your button was the high point of my day. You good sir are kick ass.
Rant / over
