Rather let me cry than make me feel better

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by imalostsoul, Sep 15, 2009.

  1. imalostsoul

    imalostsoul New Member

    ive been wit my bf for about 5 yrs n hes a great bf:marriage: but wenever we fight hes heartless. he'll say rele mean things that im self concious about. n im honestly a jealous person n ive caught him watchin porn after he PROMISED me (more than once) that hed stop. i dont think he does anymore after the last time when i blew up at him n slapped him :whack:, but i still cant get over it. it replays in my mind alot n makes me think of sum other things hes done in the past that i dont even wanna think about. n he never ever wants to try to talk it out, he instead makes me feel like s*** for doubtin him n bringin it up. i think talkin about it will make me feel better but he wont. im scared to even try to bring any problems up cuz he gets rele mad about it n all i wanna do is feel better. hed rather let me cry than try to make me feel better. i think thats selfish n it rele hurts me. ive cut myself b4 over fights wit him n problems wit my family n he doesnt no about the last few times i did. he said hed leave me if i did it again. i no he cares but its just rele hard to get over certain things. i just rele needed to vent that out sumhow. n its not bad enough to where im gonna leave him so dont even suggest that :badger:
     
  2. lost43215

    lost43215 Well-Known Member

    Well, since u took out the sugguestion of dumping him.... :tongue:

    I mean, if you want things to get better you two have to have a serious sit down and talk about things that are bugging each other, etc. May even want to goto a counsellor for it together. When it all comes down to it, you have to think about if this guy is marriage material, and if you can be together for the rest of your life. Right now, doesnt sound like it. So if you want for it to work u two will have to work out your differences, otherwise there's no real point to continue the relationship if he's not going to change or if you 2 cant work out your problems. Dont forget too, he may be a great guy... doesnt mean there wont be other great guys like him out there, so dont feel discouraged if you dont feel like you'll ever meet anyone like him again. But again, if you want to make it work, you'll have to talk to eachother.
     
  3. 12years

    12years Well-Known Member

    Do you really want to be with someone who makes you feel like that? Does the benefit really outweigh the damage? Do you really think someone who threatens to leave you really loves you as much as you love him? Do you really think if he doesn't leave you now, he will never leave you forever?

    I don't know if the relationship you're in is abusive or just a bad one (we need your bf's side of the story first), but whatever it is, you're the only one who can do anything about it.
     
  4. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    If he makes you feel like shit... why do you stay with him. What has the definition of love turned into these days. God damnit.
     
  5. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member

    Here's your first issue.

    It's unrealistic to expect a male to not be attracted to other women - it's hardwired into our brains.

    As long as he's not cheating on you, who cares if he watches porn?
     
  6. 12years

    12years Well-Known Member

    I disagree.

    Being attracted to other women is one thing, watching porn is an entirely different issue. Males can't help being attracted to women, but can they not watch porn after they promised their gf multiple times they wouldn't do it anymore? Definitely.

    What seems to be hardwired these days is the belief that all men watch porn and women should best accept that as a fact of life. It's not, although at this rate it may as well be. Interesting how popular beliefs eventually change a culture.
     
  7. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    If you guys can't fight without him putting you down then maybe you should tell him that it bothers you. Does he actually know that you're afraid to talk to him about problems because you know he's going to get angry? It sounds like both of you have some issues but if you can't even talk about them they won't ever get solved.