I have an ex-boyfriend from a few years ago. We've stayed friends, good friends. We're both still virgins and would be 17 when we would have sex. Recently, he's hinted at sharing our first time. I've been immature about sex for a long time, even though I finished physical puberty at a young age. However, in the past few days I've decided I am ready for sex, and I want him to be my first. I asked my mom to get me an appointment for birth control pills, and she did. I told my ex about this, when I would be able to have sex most safely and everything. He seemed happy at first, but told me he was unsure when I asked if he really wanted me to be his first. Then after a while, he made up his mind that he doesn't want me to be his first.
He said he was sorry, and I told him it was fine. I love him more than anything, he means the world to me. I only want him to be happy, and don't want him to do anything he'll regret. Still... to finally be ready for sex and be turned down the one who probably influenced my readiness... hurts. I'm in shock right now, and haven't cried or anything yet. Knowing me, this will blow up soon enough. I'm just not sure what to do...
He said he was sorry, and I told him it was fine. I love him more than anything, he means the world to me. I only want him to be happy, and don't want him to do anything he'll regret. Still... to finally be ready for sex and be turned down the one who probably influenced my readiness... hurts. I'm in shock right now, and haven't cried or anything yet. Knowing me, this will blow up soon enough. I'm just not sure what to do...