**Disclaimer** I do NOT mean anything mean by saying “retard”, Down syndrome, or anything similar. I am just saying what people say to me most of the time. People everyday say I look like a retard or like I have Down syndrome. They say I’m hideously ugly too (they don’t use hideously when describing me, but that’s what they’re implying). This happens every single day, multiple times. It started in 9th with everyone laughing at me and spreading rumors about me being in special ed. I have started to believe this over time and I really do think I’m a retard with Down syndrome. I asked my mom and dad if I could be put in special ed, but of course they said no. I just feel like I’ll be better if I was in special classes instead. This has made me hate myself significantly and not want to live at all. It makes me wish my parents never had me as their child at all. <mod edit- personal info> I have bullied ever since I started pre-K. People have always hated me, inside and outside of school. I have been suicidal and self loathing since 7th grade, and I doubt that’ll ever change.