Ride it out, like there's no tommorrow! Quite frankly I'm confused and saddened! I joined this site today merely out of curiosity since I am studying to be a psychologist and want to get into the mindset of the suicidal. I've been reading a lot of people's posts today; just scanning the website and reading their tragic stories etc and I just thought I would voice my opinion. I used to be severely depressed. I had social anxiety disorder which means I was petrified whenever I had to talk to someone. And I had it BAD! I even blushed when one of my own family members talked to me. Do you know what it feels like to strive for comfort and being unable to obtain it? To be unable to converse with people or get anywhere in life because of this horrible disorder. I realised in my head that my life seemed hopeless. Most of the time I locked myself in my room and silently cried myself to sleep everynight like a hopeless blubbering baby! This carried on for a couple of years - but despite all this I never EVER considered suicide, didn't even cross my mind. Do you know why? Because I have always valued life. I value and love everyone even though I was unable to show it. People on this site need to see life for what it is - they only get one chance at it. Even though it seems unbearable what is the point of cutting it short when it's the only 80 years or so they will EVER get to experience life! I say grit your teeth and ride it out. So what am I doing now? The one thing that used to soothe my soul was music. Whenever I got a chance I just listened and listened to beautiful compositions that give me an inner hope. The one song that really helped was Aphex twin - Avril 14th. Absolutely beautiful!! This spurred me on to make my own music and got a program off the internet called reason 4 and started making my own songs. My feelings being translated into an audio representation felt special to me. This gave me confidence and a constructive outelt to base my life around. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh80hxveRnI : Here's one of my songs if anyone is interested. Hopefully you will enjoy it. I also made massive improvements with my social anxiety by using cognitive behavioural therapy - This is without the aid of any counsellor or psychologist. And today I am studying to be a psychologist at university to help people who need help. I have a good group of friends, a creative outlet and more importantly a future. A drastic difference when compared to a few years ago. Hopefully people with suicidal tendencies can benefit from this and learn something...or they may not. I am just trying to demonstrate than nobody knows who they will be, or where they will be in 10, 20, 30 years time. They don't know the wonderful, beautiful people they may meet, or situations they get to experience. I know I'm curious about the future. Aren't you? Anyway, now to stop procrastinating and get on with this essay lol!