RIP Alex

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by A_pixie, Oct 27, 2012.

  1. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I just found out that my friend was found dead at 5am by his mother.

    They don't know what happened. They think it was an overdose and I'm just praying to God it was an accident.

    He left a seven year old son behind who is the image of him. I babysit that kid all the time I think the shock has just taken over.

    What hurts is that after he found out I was doing his ex wife a favour by babysitting their son for them, he cut me off because he didn't want anything to do with her. They got married very young and she then figured out she was gay it destroyed him, but I never took anyone's side I was just looking after his son. I was trying to be nice and help them out and because of that I didn't get to say goodbye to him.

    All these memories of him keep coming back now. I just keep hoping it was an accident because I wish I hadn't let him cut me out of his life like that. The feeling come in waves one minute I'll be in shock the next I'll be crying.

    I just wish I could talk to him again :'(

    RIP Alex <edit moderator last name deleted>
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 27, 2012
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry for the loss of your friend hun I had to delete his last name not allowed ok. I hope his family and his son get the help the support they need to get through this devastation
    I hope you too hun have someone you can reach out to for support hugs
  3. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    Sorry I didn't know I couldn't do that :/

    Yeah I have a good support network at the moment I have just got off of the phone from a mutual friend, and we are going to keep a close eye on his ex wife and child. It's not like she never loved him she just couldn't accept her sexuality.

    Me and Alex share the same birthday, which is on Wednesday. We are all going to keep in close in our hearts I just hope his family be be alright :'(
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you hun I am glad you have a good support network hugs
  5. Ady2011

    Ady2011 Active Member


    I have just read your post and it bought back a lot of memories for myself. Back in 1999 I was in the same situation as your friend Alex when my ex who I had been with for 7 years came out as being gay and left me for another woman. It is a very difficult situation to be in and I hope that I might be able to give you a better insight to how he was feeling and thebattle he was up against.

    I remember being so low after my ex split with me and I was in a state of dis-belief for a long time. While I was at my lowest, our friends were primaraly interested in the well being of my ex and how she was handling coming out in in actual fact she was on cloud nine in her new relationship. I found that when people did talk to me, they felt very uncomfortable as they didn't know what to say to me. It all felt very one sided in my ex's favour, even though it was her who had caused all the hurt. This is the very reason why I cut all my ties with my ex and any friends which we shared. For me, that was the only way to try and get through it but cutting all forms of contact with my ex. I had been through the same low point as your firend and was stopped from attempting suicide by a stranger. It is a very very tough battle.

    I would like to think that this might help you to understand how your friend was feeling and why he stopped talking to you.

    I am very sorry for you loss. Take care.