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Say what you want about benzos but....

#1
Benzos are keeping me alive right now...I know, I know that they are not or should not be a long term solution but for me they may be....I am 63 with a real shitty autoimmune disease....quality versus quantity of life. Doing the therapy thing also...it will be a loooooong road to full healing but I will get there.
Happy New Year to all....
 

MisterBGone

SF Supporter
#2
Benzos are keeping me alive right now...I know, I know that they are not or should not be a long term solution but for me they may be....I am 63 with a real shitty autoimmune disease....quality versus quantity of life. Doing the therapy thing also...it will be a loooooong road to full healing but I will get there.
Happy New Year to all....
I was on a max dose, or something like that, by my psychiatrist years ago. . . To the point where when he left, and I'd then been referred to two more, and both subsequently told me, or threw up their hands and said, "No way, Jose`!!!" I ain't /or am not goiing anywhere NEAR those dosages ~~*> & so, I haven't been on any since! :) As you can see, I'm doing fine/well etc. Just kidding, if you need them take them, as prescribed by your doctor. They know better than anyone else. Glad to hear they are proving their effectiveness for you. Or to be effective, anything that helps, and keeps you "in The Land of the Living!" ~is a good thing, as far as I am concerned. One reason why my initial p-doc had done that, I think, was in part that he feared the anxiety to be a potential problem in this regard just as much as the depression. (or such that it should not go untreated, I guess I don't know how 50/50 it was. . .) Anyway! :) Good luck going forward.
 
#3
I was on a max dose, or something like that, by my psychiatrist years ago. . . To the point where when he left, and I'd then been referred to two more, and both subsequently told me, or threw up their hands and said, "No way, Jose`!!!" I ain't /or am not goiing anywhere NEAR those dosages ~~*> & so, I haven't been on any since! :) As you can see, I'm doing fine/well etc. Just kidding, if you need them take them, as prescribed by your doctor. They know better than anyone else. Glad to hear they are proving their effectiveness for you. Or to be effective, anything that helps, and keeps you "in The Land of the Living!" ~is a good thing, as far as I am concerned. One reason why my initial p-doc had done that, I think, was in part that he feared the anxiety to be a potential problem in this regard just as much as the depression. (or such that it should not go untreated, I guess I don't know how 50/50 it was. . .) Anyway! :) Good luck going forward.
So how do you get by without them ? I don’t think I would be here without them....
 

MisterBGone

SF Supporter
#4
So how do you get by without them ? I don’t think I would be here without them....
Well, in my case it perhaps, or possibly wasn't quite so severe, as I had always believed it (the anxiety - which he said was of the more "generalized," variety) was secondary to the depression. In fact, for a long time... I didn't even think I'd had it at all (or anywhere near in a way that interferred with my day). As opposed to the depression, which he was on board with. . . This was like 10 years ago, though, so after trying the other guys' (psychiatrists) "methods," I gave it all up (& have ever sense, lived with out AD's/antidepressants) as well. To answer your question: I guess some days, are better than others!! :) but I'd be a bad example to set or follow for anyone. One thing that helped me, was that almost immediately thereafter (or when all of this went down) I began, or immersed myself in a new line of work that was semi-related, in terms of the adult foster care, sphere - or world. And so this foray into primarily a few different types of people to help, was mental illness, brain injuries (traumatic) & chemical dependency. Thankfully, or fortunately, rather this gave me a shifted focus from myself, wherein I did not find myself being brought down by their conditions and their afflictions. But rather, uplifted. That said, not everybody was as lucky as me. Although I do think my teeny-tiny background in psych at the university, or college level helped, just in terms of not taking some of the more difficult to handle, and deal with behaviors - to heart, or personally. As that will wear/drag you down! ;) Had my guy (first doctor) not retired, there's a strong chance I'd still be on them. Unless, I somehow found myself in the esteemed postion of having been (declared), "cured!" :D
 
#5
Well, in my case it perhaps, or possibly wasn't quite so severe, as I had always believed it (the anxiety - which he said was of the more "generalized," variety) was secondary to the depression. In fact, for a long time... I didn't even think I'd had it at all (or anywhere near in a way that interferred with my day). As opposed to the depression, which he was on board with. . . This was like 10 years ago, though, so after trying the other guys' (psychiatrists) "methods," I gave it all up (& have ever sense, lived with out AD's/antidepressants) as well. To answer your question: I guess some days, are better than others!! :) but I'd be a bad example to set or follow for anyone. One thing that helped me, was that almost immediately thereafter (or when all of this went down) I began, or immersed myself in a new line of work that was semi-related, in terms of the adult foster care, sphere - or world. And so this foray into primarily a few different types of people to help, was mental illness, brain injuries (traumatic) & chemical dependency. Thankfully, or fortunately, rather this gave me a shifted focus from myself, wherein I did not find myself being brought down by their conditions and their afflictions. But rather, uplifted. That said, not everybody was as lucky as me. Although I do think my teeny-tiny background in psych at the university, or college level helped, just in terms of not taking some of the more difficult to handle, and deal with behaviors - to heart, or personally. As that will wear/drag you down! ;) Had my guy (first doctor) not retired, there's a strong chance I'd still be on them. Unless, I somehow found myself in the esteemed postion of having been (declared), "cured!" :D
Amazing...we should all be so lucky..,I will be on this crap for life.😥
 

MisterBGone

SF Supporter
#6
Amazing...we should all be so lucky..,I will be on this crap for life.😥
Hey? Give it time! ..:) You said you just started this new medication regime?? It's definitely a "process," trying to figure it all out. . . And there's nothing to be ashamed of, or feel badly about with that fact (if you've got to be on them long term). You never, know, once they get a better handle on things, they may be able to adjust something as well. I think... & this is going off a decade's old memory, but my psychiatrist said that in order to go off my AD's, he usually likes to see a one year absence of significant issues/problems/symptoms, etc. Which told me, "Good luck!" ;) but what he did say was that if you did not do that, then sometimes what happens is that there is a risk of relapse (of depressive symptoms). Anyway, I don't unfortunately have any advice to give on the long term implications of what you're going through. Other than to say that, if it meant taking them, and being okay, versus not, and being forced to face the consequences & ramifications of that, then I'd happily, or gladly take them. :) I would be embarrassed not one iota! ;) If this was for like a heart condition, or whatever, and then you had to take pills for that from your cardiologist, it'd probably be fine in your mind, right? Well think of this as just taking a pill, or pills for your brain. Shouldn't be an issue.
 

MisterBGone

SF Supporter
#7
I think my Grandma was on benzos right up until the very end (neary 90). And the people at her assisted living found her to be one of their most favorite, and likeable clients, because of her funny & interesting personality! :D but she did have, "crippling anxiety!" Could sometimes not even go out into public, crowds and such (though I never saw her this way). I know she used to have to like, sit outside the arena for my Dad's basketball games growing up - due to the audience, "at times." Quite the free spirit & happy otherwise, not afraid to speak her mind. And because she had red hair, it only just got a little lighter (as opposed to going gray!) . . : )
 
#8
I think my Grandma was on benzos right up until the very end (neary 90). And the people at her assisted living found her to be one of their most favorite, and likeable clients, because of her funny & interesting personality! :D but she did have, "crippling anxiety!" Could sometimes not even go out into public, crowds and such (though I never saw her this way). I know she used to have to like, sit outside the arena for my Dad's basketball games growing up - due to the audience, "at times." Quite the free spirit & happy otherwise, not afraid to speak her mind. And because she had red hair, it only just got a little lighter (as opposed to going gray!) . . : )
Wow...good for grandma. Sounds like she did ok. I am 63 so realistically I should not care about being on meds forever as forever is not that long anyways especially considering that I have a real sucky autoimmune disease in addition to ptsd, anxiety, ocd and depression, and this crap all started 3 years ago after trauma. All this while handling my elderly mother’s affairs while she is in the nursing home. I am surprised I have made it this long!
 

MisterBGone

SF Supporter
#9
Wow...good for grandma. Sounds like she did ok. I am 63 so realistically I should not care about being on meds forever as forever is not that long anyways especially considering that I have a real sucky autoimmune disease in addition to ptsd, anxiety, ocd and depression, and this crap all started 3 years ago after trauma. All this while handling my elderly mother’s affairs while she is in the nursing home. I am surprised I have made it this long!
You seem to be doing a great job, from where I sit--& under the circumstances. That is a lot to handle at once, including the acute trauma you reference. It can be quite a handful to help a family member in a nursing home under the best of conditions. Certainly, yours proved to be of the greatest level - or degree - of difficulty. So, give yourself some credit for trying, and try to keep up hope, as they say. For that is I guess the best we can sometimes hope for, in terms of what we might be able to control (at most times) . .

Maybe if things ever begin to improve from the incident a few years ago, then too, the rest of it can follow? As far as them getting better... It may seem hopeless ~or impossible, but you just never know! : ) Likewise with the physical affliction. Regardless of the prognosis, or outlook when it comes to projected outcome, if that gets any easier to live with, then maybe the mental side of things can ease up just ever so slightly (& somewhat unexpectedly). As the two can sometimes be tied to-gether (not always, but sometimes!).

And funny thing about my Grandma, I remember one time she must've been about 88, or 89 & she'd insisted on showing a staff member there, who was delivering her evening care, along with myself "how to," do a 'Little Irish Jig!' (that her Mother -who was from Ireland) had taught she & her Sisters when they were young. A little nerve-wracking; but that's just one example of her innate ability to entertain! ;)
 

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