on Thursday, july 31, at approx. 4PM, a veterinarian injected my cat Scooter with a lethal drug and within 7 seconds her heart stopped beating, her tail stopped flicking, and she was dead. the cat who has been the only constant in my life for more than 10 years. the cat who woke me up every single morning and frequently disturbed my sleep throughout the night with her loud chatter and baby-like wailing. the cat who curled up on my lap when i was watching tv or reading a book and take a quick nap until i fidgeted to much for her liking. the cat who got stuck in the storm drain once and almost had me call the local fire dept to get her out (thankfully we found a better way). the cat who up until two years ago everyone would stare at open-mouthed with awe anytime i took her out because she was just soooo big. the cat who developed diabetes, then bad teeth, then hyperthyroidism, but still had the energy and spunk to slap me in the face whenever i was getting on her nerves. the cat who was often my sole reason for not swallowing a crapton of pills or letting my blood in the bathtub or whatever other form of offing myself seemed nice at the time. the cat who always came over and rubbed my face everytime i was on the floor crying and despairing in my endless depression. the cat who made me smile when absolutely nothing else could. that cat. that cat is gone now, sudden total kidney failure, nothing to be done, she's just too old the vet said, can't guarantee she would even make it through the night even if you had all the money for all the IV drips and hospitalization in the world (which i don't). so i tried to do the unselfish thing and let her go. but my soul was ripped out when her little heart stopped beating. i wanted so badly to follow right behind and be with her forever...and out of this ugly broken world which now really and truly has NOTHING for me.... she was my reason for living. now she is gone. so what's my excuse??? i love you, Scooter. always.