Seeking Advice

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Thechildwithin42, Jan 26, 2013.

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  1. First off, I hope I'm posting this in the right place.

    Over the past 10 years or so, I've seen several different doctors, therapist, counselors and such. And I've been diagnosed with everything from PTSD to schizoaffective disorder. I used to be on medication and see a therapist on a regular basic. But about two and a half years ago, I decided to stop taking my meds. (I know that some people are very against that idea. And I'm not saying it's the right choice for anyone, I only know it was the best choice for me personally.) See, the problem was when I was on my meds I missed some of the symptoms of my...whatever it is. So I told my doctor and therapist that I was going off of them because I wanted to have those symptoms back. My doctor said I was nuts (not her exact wording, but that was the jist) and my therapist refused to see me anymore unless I went back on my meds.

    So things have been...okay-ish. I go up and down a lot. For the most part I would say I'm okay. Sometimes I get real down and start thinking in a bad way, but I usually pull out of it eventually.

    Thing is, I've been really down for the past few weeks. And I'm scared all the time. I can't sleep because I'm scared. And when I crash because I'm so tired I have nightmares. Which only makes me not want to sleep more. And I'm not sure how much longer I can take this. I feel like I have no one that I can talk to this about. I have a couple friends. But A) I don't want to worry them and B) I feel like they will think I've failed or shove it in my face that I went off my meds.

    I thought about trying to find a new therapist, but I'm worried about that too. I DO NOT want to go back on my meds. I just want someone to talk to. But I worry that I can't really talk too much or someone will force me to take meds or stop seeing them again. So then I think, maybe I'll just find someone that I can tell some things to and not others. But without the whole picture, can anyone really help me?

    So I guess I'm just at a loss and wondering if anyone has gone through something similar or has any advice. Sorry that this got a little rambling. Hope I made sense.
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    It's times like this that the medications were trying to avoid. If however, they were not effective, or you did not respond to them, then I can understand your position. This is all also taking for granted that you were properly diagnosed in the first place.

    Yes, I do believe that there are therapists out there who do not need you to be medicated & seeing a psychiatrist--plenty, in fact (I'd guess). And telling them your whole life's story in two or three sessions should also not be a prerequisite. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just find one, try them out, and see if you like them.

    As for the friendship: I wouldn't worry myself over "A." And if "B" does occur, find some new friends or ignore them (at least when it comes to this matter).
  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I took myself off medications ~2 years ago. And I don't know if I will ever get back on. I have (a very controversial) opinion that there are some people like myself who just need to be heard and not medicated like a zombie. I am starting to have other problems myself but they are more due to physical problems and things even medications cannot really change. I can understand your frustration as I face a similar issue myself. Many programs are un-willing to see someone if they will not take medications and simply assume they are not doing their part in therapy..

    I used to be told when I first stared therapy that medications were meant to help JUST enough for people to LEARN skills and for them to USE these skills so medications would NOT be needed. Unfortunetly too many people nowadays want you on meds your entire life and don't look at the individual and what they are actually capable. There is so much around mental illness we really don't understand.

    Anyway, my PM box is always open if you need someone who deals with something similar.
  4. Thanks guys for the advice. I might look around to see if there's some sort of therapy I can find without the requirement of being on meds. I have to admit I'm not really looking forward to that.

    Also, MisterBGone, it's not really my friends that have the problem. It's me. At least one of them would be mad if she knew I was going through a rough time and hadn't come to her when I needed to.

    And Youkai, thanks for the offer, I might take you up on that.
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