Severely Depressed

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by EFromTexas, Jan 24, 2016.

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  1. EFromTexas

    EFromTexas Active Member

    I feel like no one truly understands how I feel not even my own family and I have about had it. I have no friends no job no car 28 still live with my parents because I saved up to move out but decided with the good heart I have to give it to my parents because they were in a tough situation now I have no money. Tired of getting online seeing my friends being successful and having girlfriends and I've been single pretty much throughout my life. Tired of getting bullied and letting people talk to me any kind of way and I am always the one to walk away to avoid conflict. Before all this I was ok with my life but then shit happens and I'm extremely lonely and I've never been in this position before so I'm going crazy! I even think about suicide. I also try to be nice and friendly to everyone and I get bashed down I can't take it anymore. If anyone has any advice or help with this severe depression I will thank you because I really am thinking about getting help and I've dealt with this depression all my life it's just getting worse.
     
  2. KayKayBug

    KayKayBug Member

    Hey,
    It seems hard right now, but you are so much stronger than the burdens you are dealing with.

    Try listening to your favorite music and writing your feelings down (yes it sounds so typical).

    Go do things you like to do and stand up for yourself. I can honestly say a man with confidence will gain more attention than a shy one. Don't let others bully you, yes sometimes that means a conflict arises, but you have to show them you aren't a rug under their feet.

    If you want go look for a job, even if it means flipping burgers. Earning your own money makes you feel better.

    I know what it's like to walk around everyday being used and thrown away, but i have to remind myself to keep my head held high, because it messes with the haters so much more than me letting myself sink below them.

    Be Strong Fellow Texan,

    Kay
     
  3. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    How long have you been feeling like this Texas and had the suicidal thoughts? What you did for your parents was very kind and I hope they are able to pay you back when they can. A place for yourself may be what you need for some room and independence. Being nice to people and shut down... sucks. It's not how you should be treated and frankly I would tell you to curse at them, but that might not be the best thing to do. Who is bashing you down, is it the same people? If you are thinking about going the professional route for help I would urge you to do that. There is a lot that can be offered to you from various treatments, advice and therapies. It may be best to see your GP / doctor as soon as you can and explain some of these feelings, but in the meantime I am glad you have come here for support and hope you keep talking some more.
     
  4. EFromTexas

    EFromTexas Active Member

    Wow so much has changed from the site and I had no idea I had these replies until today so bear with me. I understand confidence will get me far and standing up for myself and people may respect me more, but at the same time I hate being involved in drama and conflicts so I decide to walk away most of the time. I do stand up for myself sometimes but then once I do it becomes me coming across as defensive and sensitive from my past experiences and they call me out on it so then I am back at square one thinking I should have never said anything at all. I've been bullied since I was in pre k so I am used to it also and not sure how much more I can take. You say stop being bullied but it's easier said than done. I wrote down a 7 page paper about my feelings that felt good I guess and I do listen to my fav. music I do the things I enjoy that doesn't bother me at all its just my severe depression and the little things that gets to me and it sucks but that's just me and trying my best to get better from it. Honestly if I had money I would be so much more confident about myself sad but true then I can go places without worrying someone will get my back sp yes I will get a job. Thanks for the reply Bug!
     
  5. EFromTexas

    EFromTexas Active Member

    I have been having these thoughts for a while now I have always been depressed but it has never gotten this bad. The only reason I don't act is because of my mother and know it will impact her more than anything in this world. Thank you and I hope my parents realise it because I brought it up multiple times saying if it weren't for me etc. them she would say well we did for you when you were a child and I told her there's a huge diff. between now and back then. The people are online, and everywhere I go workplace sports it seems like everywhere I go someone has to give some reason to bash on me and I can't stand it. I'm more of of a fighter not a lover honestly but for my woman and family and friends I'd fight for definitely. Yeah I def. need to get out of here and have my own space. To be honest I haven't taking the professional route you think that may be what I need to do? Honestly I might because I don't want my sensitivity, severe depression, and all these other issues I have hit me harder than it already does. Cicada I thank you also for your response and just glad their are people out there that actually listen instead of bashing me and calling me a cry baby.
     
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