This happened this morning. It involves no animals this time, perhaps other than me.
I'll paint you a wee scenario. Trigger warning: second hand embarrassment and pure earth shattering cringe.
It's 3am last night, you're tired, you're groggy, you've played drinking games all night with your partner and neat vodka has suddenly stopped being your friend, you're painfully aware that you've got someone coming to issue you a Covid swab test and ask you a stupid amount of survey questions quite early in the morning. You make the journey from bedroom door to bed, flinging garments everywhere as you just take them off haphazardly, where in other circumstances you would put them neatly into a laundry basket. You fall asleep hoping you won't feel it in the morning (girl, who are you kidding, you'll be 30 in 2.5 years).
Fast forward to Tuesday (actual) morning, maybe 09:45, your partner is throwing socks at you from the door, the Covid lady is coming in 15 mins, (ya okay it's not that early but hi, I am hangover, nice to meet you x). You overslept. So with groggy eyes and a pounding head, in pure blind panic you start getting dressed in whatever clothes you can find - last night's jeans - which it is important to add that they are 3/4 in length, so come to shin level - and you start to make yourself human on a basic enough level for a doorway interaction with a stranger.
The doorbell goes, you answer it, you look okay (ish), but rough enough for the woman to comment something about lockdowns messing up everyone's schedules and how screwed all the furloughed people will be when we eventually have to get back to a working routine (thanks hen, love ya x). Anyways, the survey commences, being the bland and painfully law abiding person that you are, your answers consist of "no" and "not really" in regards to social activity and you notice this woman glancing down at your feet a few times, like enough to be noticeable and make you think "damn, she's glancing at my feet a few times".
If you're anything like me, you often assume that you are unattractive and look hideous or there's something wrong or laughable about your appearance often and your mind goes from comatose autopilot to overreactive manual drive faster than a toupee in a hurricane. In your overthinking and analysing, you do recall something having slid down your left leg but you don't want to glance down also to make the other person aware that you know something's up. You repeat in your head "she just likes your socks" to get you through the survey.
When the survey's finally over and it's time for you to go and take your covid test, you turn around to use the bathroom while your partner takes her survey. In the safety of the bathroom, you dare take a glance at your feet and what should you find staring back at you? Yesterday's bright pink underpants, poking out at your shin/ankle region, making a pure mockery of your very existence. You assess the situation and look at any possibility that these could be explained as literally anything else and nope, deffo pants. After a bit of debating about whether you should leave them or not, you grab them quickly and shove them in your back pocket, and commence your covid swab test, grateful that the amount of gagging you're about to do from the swab will explain the red face. You suck up your pride, and go back to the front door with your completed sample. You hand over the tube with your swab to the woman and catch a sidewards glance at your partner, she is smirking.
She goes to complete her test and return it to the testing lady, we close the door and she turns to me and said "you found the pants then", and walks away. She knew the whole time. I'm currently plotting my revenge in form of a prank.
Thanks for reading (or not actually heheh)
I'll paint you a wee scenario. Trigger warning: second hand embarrassment and pure earth shattering cringe.
It's 3am last night, you're tired, you're groggy, you've played drinking games all night with your partner and neat vodka has suddenly stopped being your friend, you're painfully aware that you've got someone coming to issue you a Covid swab test and ask you a stupid amount of survey questions quite early in the morning. You make the journey from bedroom door to bed, flinging garments everywhere as you just take them off haphazardly, where in other circumstances you would put them neatly into a laundry basket. You fall asleep hoping you won't feel it in the morning (girl, who are you kidding, you'll be 30 in 2.5 years).
Fast forward to Tuesday (actual) morning, maybe 09:45, your partner is throwing socks at you from the door, the Covid lady is coming in 15 mins, (ya okay it's not that early but hi, I am hangover, nice to meet you x). You overslept. So with groggy eyes and a pounding head, in pure blind panic you start getting dressed in whatever clothes you can find - last night's jeans - which it is important to add that they are 3/4 in length, so come to shin level - and you start to make yourself human on a basic enough level for a doorway interaction with a stranger.
The doorbell goes, you answer it, you look okay (ish), but rough enough for the woman to comment something about lockdowns messing up everyone's schedules and how screwed all the furloughed people will be when we eventually have to get back to a working routine (thanks hen, love ya x). Anyways, the survey commences, being the bland and painfully law abiding person that you are, your answers consist of "no" and "not really" in regards to social activity and you notice this woman glancing down at your feet a few times, like enough to be noticeable and make you think "damn, she's glancing at my feet a few times".
If you're anything like me, you often assume that you are unattractive and look hideous or there's something wrong or laughable about your appearance often and your mind goes from comatose autopilot to overreactive manual drive faster than a toupee in a hurricane. In your overthinking and analysing, you do recall something having slid down your left leg but you don't want to glance down also to make the other person aware that you know something's up. You repeat in your head "she just likes your socks" to get you through the survey.
When the survey's finally over and it's time for you to go and take your covid test, you turn around to use the bathroom while your partner takes her survey. In the safety of the bathroom, you dare take a glance at your feet and what should you find staring back at you? Yesterday's bright pink underpants, poking out at your shin/ankle region, making a pure mockery of your very existence. You assess the situation and look at any possibility that these could be explained as literally anything else and nope, deffo pants. After a bit of debating about whether you should leave them or not, you grab them quickly and shove them in your back pocket, and commence your covid swab test, grateful that the amount of gagging you're about to do from the swab will explain the red face. You suck up your pride, and go back to the front door with your completed sample. You hand over the tube with your swab to the woman and catch a sidewards glance at your partner, she is smirking.
She goes to complete her test and return it to the testing lady, we close the door and she turns to me and said "you found the pants then", and walks away. She knew the whole time. I'm currently plotting my revenge in form of a prank.
Thanks for reading (or not actually heheh)
