she said that we'd still be friends. she said that it wouldn't make her uncomfortable. and she lied through her teeth. she is my world, my everything. she is all that i believed in. what do i have now? nothing. it's been a horrid 5 and a half years, but i survived. it is all in vain now. i mean absolutely nothing to her. i cannot continue on knowing this, having this at the back of my mind. i can't.