Should I just move on...?

[SynchPedro86]

Dear Suicide Forum - A support forum for people in crisis,

My name is Peter, and I live in Scotland. Well, Edinburgh actually.

Since 2002, I've had quite a crappy life. I don't go out much, and when I do, I don't really blend in with anyone. Whether it be co-workers, students, or just your average person. I've did a few courses to pass the time now and again. But, people on the Internet keep harassing me on multiple forums, and it gets under my skin. This always seems to overshadow anything remotely pleasant...

A series of unfortunate events lead to me being diagnosed as having a form of autism. It is not AS. It is something quite similar though. It causes me to keep wanting to resolve past issues that normal people would easily recover from and leave behind.

In 2005, I very briefly dated a girl my age, and I liked her a lot. Her name is Laura. My mother thought she was only using me for my money. And her pals would annoy me whenever I went to visit her at her house. It got that bad, I even asked my sister to go with me. Since Laura didn't have a phone, it made me increasingly wary of simply showing up at her house, knowing her pals may have been there. I decided not to go back to the flat, for it had become a lost cause. I never saw or heard from her again...

In 2007, shortly after I lost my job, I finally found the courage to go back to the flat. However, I'd only just missed her by a matter of weeks, as her family had moved. I know this because I did a runner in late 2006 for a day, and my mother and sister went out there thinking I'd be there, and it seemed like her family were still there then.

Police, social workers and neighbours are either not allowed to help me find her, or they know nothing. And I doubt anyone else is going to help me find her. Because of my anguish, I sent an email to many people saying I was going to, or attempt to end my life. But when I do stuff like that, the police show up at my door. Now if they can find me, can they not find Laura?

I posted an advert on Gumtree about my ex-girlfriend, Laura. An old neighbour of Laura's told me she was informed of the posting on Gumtree. However, Laura has never got in touch with me. I got very cranky to this person who had sent me the email, so now she thinks I'm ill and she will not help me. I fear Laura has been told about the stalking, and this will have put her off from wanting to talk to me.

I know much time has passed since I last saw Laura, and I was recently arrested for sending a rude email to the police. However, it makes me feel depressed and hopeless knowing I can do nothing more. The arrest and the subsequent treatment from the police has made me feel much more depressed than I had been before. I am worried that I may resort to doing something daft, like swallowing pills or jumping into a fast flowing river. There is a river not too far from where I stay, and I have some sleep aid tablets in my room.

The police are useless. Musical idols such as Ian Curtis (Joy Division), Bradley Delp (Boston), Kevin Wilkinson (China Crisis), Del Shannon and Stuart Adamson (Big Country) may have still been alive today, had their loneliness been mended sooner. So while that may not be the best example, it still helps to prove a point...

Please help...

 

[plates]

Hi.

Laura sounds like she meant a lot to you. She does mean a lot to you and you obviously feel a lot for her.

I want to try and explain that Laura might not help your lonely feelings or help your loneliness go away.

This is because:

-Laura didn't get in contact with you after you didn't turn up to her flat- perhaps she doesn't feel the same way you feel about her?

-Laura also didn't respond to the Gumtree ad, I think that's solid evidence that she's not interested in a relationship with you.

Would you be interested in Laura if Laura had absolutely no interest in you at all? Perhaps Laura now has a new boyfriend, a new life. Maybe she doesn't share the type of loneliness that you feel or even think about you.

It might seem stupid, but people out there can't give you personal information like that because you will be seen as a stalker and you will get into understandable trouble with the police and social services that you've experienced yourself.


I do however, hear how lonely, desperate, depressed and suicidal you are. Are you in contact with MH services at all?

I want to also add, there will be other girls who you might get on with in the future.. From what I've read, Laura doesn't seem to want to know you.

Yes, I think you should try and move on, try and grieve best as you can without hurting or killing yourself and keep in mind that your anguish will pass, and you're hurting over a girl who doesn't even want to be with you.

I hope this post wasn't too harsh and has helped you somewhat.

 

[Mightbehere]

-Laura is a nice name, how old are you? that might have some relevance to why they won't give out private information also people right to privacy means that they can't give out someones details unless they have specific permission. I don't think you should feel bad at all for telling the police what you think of them, many people do and should! but obviously if its going to get you into trouble its not a smart move and maybe you should be more diplomatic.

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

You should move on, why? Because if Laura really felt the same way you did or even cared then she would of made some attempt in contacting you but at the same time I can't judge this situation.

 

[SynchPedro86]

We're both 22. And I can deal with the Internet. Really, it was rough, but I'm slowly getting on with things. The people who bullied me and all were just losers. I get on great with other websites. So, bad luck or not, they had no right to do what they did, but I don't think I can take action because I did things to annoy them back.