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Should i say something ?

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Kobosis, Jun 18, 2015.

  1. Kobosis

    Kobosis Member

    So i can't stop racking my mind about this girl.
    It's getting to the point where i need to either say something or i have to forever remain the silent friend.
    So before you think i've been friendzone and i should get over it and move on, hear me out.

    So a little context for everything.
    I'm 22 and she is 20, we have know each other for about 1 and a half years now.
    She has a boyfriend - This is the ONLY thing not expressing how i feel!!

    So over the last couple of weeks we have been getting closer and closer and truth be told i had a thing for her when we first met. But now things have gotten different somehow, she is closer and more open with me, we talk and hangout, we understand one another.. but she has been complaining and saying that she wants to split up with her boyfriend.. now as a guy i always shrug it off when she says things life this. but something inside me keeps telling me to say she should.

    I know i've rambled on for far too long now.. but i just need advice from people who have been in the same place or similar place to me.
  2. What

    What Active Member

    Wait, be patient, and just listen and be supportive. If you make your move while she is considering a breakup, during a breakup or shortly after a breakup, then you'll come across as a vulture trying to take advantage of her emotional state just to get in her pants. Definitely don't wanna come across that way so just be patient and supportive for now. By supportive I just mean be a good listener and validate her feelings, let her know that she makes sense.
  3. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    I would wait

    The hardest thing to do is restrain yourself when someone is at a delicate part of their life. As her friend, (in my opinion), your responsibility should be to her, and what matters to her. Despite your feelings for her, she is in a relationship with another man. Relationships have their up's and down's, and people vent, sometimes harshly to their closest friends. You may be seeing alot more into what she is saying because of your feelings for her. Young relationships are filled with all sorts of roller-coasters. If anything, it would be ideal to help her strengthen her relationship with her boyfriend, but shrugging it off is probably the better approach. It lets her have the space to vent, while allowing her to make her own mind up about her life without interference.

    Be warey if things get really close though! :D If she's still in a relationship and things get intimate, ... keep this in mind. You could be that boyfriend. Show him the respect he deserves. Re-enforce the respect she deserves, and be patient.