i dont feel good today, ive been feeling like this for 2 days, like im sinking and i dont want to get up, dont want to pretend like im happy anymore, tired of begging people to listen to me, tired of begging people to care. i dont know what is wrong with me. i called a crisis line tonight and they didnt want to talk to me either. my stories are too horrible, the b*** on the phone told me they have a record of my financial problems, i never mentioned anything about financial problems, and i told her that, i said i am having emotional problems, i was looking for a kind word. emotional problems are my problem. why am i so emotional? i hate it. everybody just put your happy face on. my life is crap and why do i keep trying.