So much suffering

[BromptonCocktail]

In a wierd way, I hate empathy. I think I have too much empathy And it’s really getting me down. I work at a elderly care home. Theirs so much suffering. People suffering from dementia, strokes, cancer and the depression that comes with it. Then I Have my group therapy where theirs people suffering with bipolar, ptsd and bpd (which I also suffer from). So many residents of the care home dying. I’m just sitting here pondering the pointlessness and suffering of life. I’m not suse I can live in a world with so much suffering. I’m emotionally drained, my bpd is destroying me. I hurt myself and take drugs to numb it all, It seems I need drugs to feel happy, Cus nothing in reality makes me happy. It’s just so much suffering

 

[Ivyleaf]

Nursing homes (elderly care...) tend to be depressing... being from the medical field myself, I’m assuming you have some sort of skill set that enables you to work there... would you consider changing jobs? A more positive work atmosphere would at least me a step in the right direction... maybe?

 

[Ivyleaf]

Do you take any medication (prescribed...lol) for your bpd?

 

[BromptonCocktail]

Taking quetiapine, Pregabalin and melatonin. It’s not doing much except helping me sleep

 

[1964dodge]

I agree you should try to change jobs. but remember people in the nursing home have lived a full life and are old. it happens to us as we get older we get sicker the more we age, the trick is make your life the best you can. an act of kindness to the people in the nursing home goes a long way, you are doing a lot more than you realize.

 

[pandora98]

I had to leave a volunteering role at a rest home just because I found it affected me so badly seeing people just kinda waiting to die. Leaving that role was hard at first because I felt I was letting everyone down but it the long term it helped my mental heath so much. I recon try finding something else if you can but just know that the people there won't hold anything against you for it and by working there you've had a profound effect on them already just by caring.