Social anxiety

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by mpang123, Dec 14, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    I have been suffering from social anxiety which seems to get worse over a year's time. I purposely isolate because I feel so uncomfortable hanging around with anyone. I don't make an effort to make friends with acquaintances because I don't feel I have anything to share with them. Yes, I'm lonely, but I'd rather choose to be alone than to be involved with another's life and their life stories that they tell. My neighbors don't reach out to me anymore, even if I tried to text them once in a while to see if they would be caring enough to keep tabs on me but they don't. I seek refuge in my little apartment, avoiding as much social contact as possible. It's ironic that I don't want any social interaction, but then I wish they would reach out to me. I know I contradict myself and that's my struggle with social anxiety.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hear you it is so hard to want one thing yet seek the saftey of one own environment i am sorry you are in such a lonely place right now. small steps ok small ones just step outside your door get some air next times walk further outside door if you see someone nod you head or say hi Social anxiety is so hard but with help you can heal ok therapy meds you don't have to isolate ok to be safe you don't i hope you reach out because hun hell i know that pain of being alone and no one deserves that hun You deserve good friends connections that will help you ones that you can trust hugs i am glad you are talking here one way of connecting not the best but it is one way hugs
  3. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    TE, I have no problem greeting with anyone and make small talk. But when I try to express myself more, it seems like no one wants to hear me out. Nobody wants to hear my sad story, but they want me to hear them out. I try to socialize, but I feel like bolting when I disclose too much of myself or when I've talked enough after a while. People wonder why I'm in such a hurry to leave them and be by myself again. It's sad that I'm only relying on this site to make brief connections but I feel safe to disclose my thoughts and feelings here but I still can keep my distance without expectations that I have to socialize with any of them. It's enough that I express myself here. I don't really have the desire to connect with anyone in the real world except through cyberspace. It's my safety net, keeping my distance. I miss my active social life that I used to have, but I'm getting used to being alone and coping with my loneliness. I just don't think anyone wants to be around me anyways. So I will accept my loneliness.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i hope not hun for the more you accept that loneliness the more years are wasted in silence and fear and darkness saftey net i u nderstand but don't walk away from reality hun don't ok
    I connect to what you are saying i do i just wish you had a way to feel safe when you start revealing the true you hugs
  5. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    TE, I'm so depressed right now as streams of tears run down my cheeks. I asked to be the way I am now. I'm the one who bolts when I get too uncomfortable hanging out with anyone. Then I wish that I could have friends. I don't get it.
  6. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I can relate to a lot of what your saying. I've been isolating myself for such a long time, years but now I go out of my way to socialize because I realized that I DESERVE to be friends with others, and share who I am. But I still struggle, we tend to think that others want nothing to do with us when it fact it's us who think that way. We think we're boring and uninteresting but they don't. So I try to do that a lot, telling myself I deserve to be happy, to talk with others and socialize.

    I think that being afraid of being hurt is what makes us isolate ourselves, we somehow see being hurt as the end of the though I try to see it as a cut, it hurts in the beginning but then it heals and I can try again with the knowledge I learned from getting's hard but doable. You just never give up and get up when you fall down...

    it's a whole deprogramming we have to do because we were raised that way and on top of our experiences we learned to be this way.

    hang in there friend :) you can do it...more importantly you deserve to be happy and have a place in this world
  7. Bailey

    Bailey New Member

    I just want to add my thanks to mpang123. I'm really bad at expressing myself - feel like I'm going crazy at times trying to work everything out - but your post is something I can really relate to- it's not just me type thing.
  8. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    I feel I have to share again here. Christmas day was horrible. I took a neighbor too personally and I got my feelings hurt and then I vented in Facebook about it and she found out I was talking about HER. Nevertheless, she was offended and defensive. She tagged me and told me a piece of her mind and I tried to make apologies to her but I don't know if she accepted it or forgave me for how I felt about her. I had to explain again that my social anxiety keeps me isolated and pushes people away when they want to be my friend. Then I complain why I don't have friends who would give me their time of day. After today, I don't know what to do anymore. I feel worse than ever just because of some stupid misunderstanding and now I probably pushed her more away. I'm starting to lose my friends one at a time. Isolating is not going to help with my morbid depression, especially when guilt is involved. I will see my world a little bit different now, and the new year will probably be a greater challenge for me to be happy. I really screwed up and will regret this for a long time.
  9. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    tell her what you just said "i really screwed up and i will regret it for a long time" , then ask her to have compassion for you and try to forgive you.
  10. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    Happy New Year everybody! Right now, I feel guilty that I don't socialize much anymore, nor do I have the desire to make new friends even when they offer their friendship. I have been having problems with my neighbors. I tell them why they don't come and visit me or call me more, and they get defensive and tell me that I also have to take the initiative to visit and call too. I feel so bad that I don't even want to do that and yet I blame them? I'm so cautious about what I say to people because they might take me the wrong way or I would talk too much and start feeling uncomfortable so I have to excuse myself. They don't understand why I'm like that and I just tell them I have social anxiety and that really is true. I have a trust issue too. I also tend to not wanting to hear their negative life story, so I leave. Maybe I seem "stuck up", but I just don't relate and don't know what to say. My life seems a lot less complicated than most, except my mental illness. That's all I seem to know. I feel so bad for them when they have serious issues. Guess I do that here too. I try to respond to other posts, but I feel limited on what to say cuz I don't relate. So, I'm trying not to isolate but it's going to take time. I feel so secure all by myself lately and don't want to deal with others. I sound selfish but I need the space. I go to group every week day and I come home exhausted working on my issues and hearing others as well. I just want to come home and relax. People don't understand that and take me the wrong way so I guess I'm going to have to explain myself all the time. I'm starting to feel bad and wish I didn't talk with my neighbor just prior to logging in here. Now I want to isolate even more so I won't hear what others think about me. It's very upsetting, both ways.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.