Somedays are good, Somedays are sad.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by MrJ, Mar 21, 2013.

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  1. MrJ

    MrJ Member

    Hi, My name is J and I'm male. (rather not give out my real name, If it's ok :))

    I'm from the UK, I'm 21 and I was diagnosed with depression around Summer 2011. I've always been a nervous person, I used to be terrified of going to school without knowing why (sounds a bit stupid, Right?). I sometimes used to bunk school (means not go, Do people in other countries say 'bunk school'?). Anyways, Since leaving school my life has spiraled downwards into what I am today. I have put on a bit of weight, I go months without stepping foot outside of the house (I'm what I would call semi-agoraphobic in that I can go out in the car with people but not get out of the car again until I'm home.) and I mainly sit in my room all day on the PC.

    I don't really have any friends (lost touch with what friends I did have in school) and that's basically my empty pathetic existence. My only dreams are silly, Pathetic unreachable ones (fame and money, That old chestnut Haha.) and to top it all off, I have a really low voice (I don't think it even ever broke.) which makes me feel sadder.

    My only real joys in life is football (soccer.) watching it or playing it on FIFA and I'm even starting to get fed up of that and I also love watching films, All genres except horror.

    I am depressed and that makes me have suicidal thoughts daily (but would NEVER act on them.)

    I'm not sure what I was hoping to achieve by posting this, But maybe I just need to get it all out. Kinda like a massive scream on top of a mountain, But instead doing it on an internet forum. :)

    Peace.
     
  2. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Hi MrJ, I'm glad you've been able to scream from the mountain. Sounds as if there's no one you can talk to about how you feel. Has your GP suggested any medication or counselling /therapy? If not see him / her again to ask. We can't get out of depression by ourselves. We need help, and often a lot of help. Keep coming on here, it's a good community. It helps me.
     
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I do not think being terrified of going to school sounds stupid and I have never heard the term "bunk" (though i rather like it - I believe the common tern here in the US now is to 'ditch' school - I am sure my kids could clarify that for me).
    I lost touch with friends completely after I stopped working and find sometimes when I think about it it has been weeks or even months since I left house (if you exclude medical appointments months on end sometimes). I am not agoraphobic - just never reason or desire to do anything.... Not trying to compare at all - simply saying you are not that strange or different than many and and applauding your recognition that there may be more available in your life.

    I do not know exactly what steps might be available to you to change things- you may look into depression meds for the depression and possibly anxiety meds could help with getting out more. I have found an online life is not impossible at all - here on this forum provides an outlet and friends - also in other area I have found work I do online as well to make reasonable extra income - not easy things maybe to work out but it sounds like you have ample time for the effort of trying. After years (literally) of barely leaving house I have made sincere effort in the last three months or so of getting out - even if it is just to ride to store and sit in car for 5 minutes. The act of getting dressed and going out at all has helped my attitude tremendously and I feel like I am "doing" or "trying" to do something and that is helping my outlook. Just some ideas to consider though the answer is different for all of us I suspect.

    Take Care and Be Safe

    Ben
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi MrJ good you are posting here hun nice to meet you Here hun you will not feel so alone because you will be heard and understood I too hope that you can reach out in real life to talk to your doctor in getting some support to help you with your anxiety and depression Hope you keep posting hun so we all get to know you better here
     
  5. MrJ

    MrJ Member

    Thanks for the replies and the nice welcome. :)

    I will be seeing my GP for unrelated issues next week, So I will mention this then. :)
     
  6. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    So glad you have reached out to us here. Talking is the first step in feeling better :)
     
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