Someone bad was reintroduced into my life.

[HDG]

When I was 12, I was groomed. This person manipulated me and has severely damaged my trust and general relationships with others. I "got over it" in a sense and tried for forgive them. I did forgive them, until last night. I was unknowingly talking to this person for about a month with very personal information, including the fact that I've had recent suicidal thoughts. They consoled me and tried to help, and I appreciated it. When I found out who it really was, I tried to end it right there. It's just too much to handle. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I had to cut them off completely, so I did. They claimed that they got better, and is a better person, but I don't believe it. Still, it was a struggle to fully block them. I don't even know why it was so hard, my friend had to pretty much force me too. I just want all the drama and everything to end. Last night, I ended up begging God to kill me because of all this. My friend saved my life. I feel guilty. I feel alone. I know I'm not, which makes me feel angry for feeling alone. Sorry if this was all over the place.

 

[Trying4Life]

I am still learning to navigate all this...I am not good at standing up for myself. In the last 3 years I have been coming to the realization that I was probably molested by my uncle (RI...rest...gone and maybe best forgotten) 55 years ago. Since realizing this, I have only talked with about 3 people, none in my family, about it. I am still learning how it has affected me.

They claimed that they got better

Good for them. That doesn't mean you have to accept them into your life. Hopefully it is true and they don't harm anyone else, and let them get on with their life. Leave them out of yours. You have no obligation to take them back. I will refrain from my gut feeling responses to this (@#%*&%%! THEM). Get on with your life, if they bother you, tell them to go perform a biologically impossible act (3 words, ending in YOURSELF). You owe them NOTHING.

 

[shadowrider]

When I was 12, I was groomed. This person manipulated me and has severely damaged my trust and general relationships with others. I "got over it" in a sense and tried for forgive them. I did forgive them, until last night. I was unknowingly talking to this person for about a month with very personal information, including the fact that I've had recent suicidal thoughts. They consoled me and tried to help, and I appreciated it. When I found out who it really was, I tried to end it right there. It's just too much to handle. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I had to cut them off completely, so I did. They claimed that they got better, and is a better person, but I don't believe it. Still, it was a struggle to fully block them. I don't even know why it was so hard, my friend had to pretty much force me too. I just want all the drama and everything to end. Last night, I ended up begging God to kill me because of all this. My friend saved my life. I feel guilty. I feel alone. I know I'm not, which makes me feel angry for feeling alone. Sorry if this was all over the place.

Hey.

I'm truly sorry you had to go through all that pain alone. That person should let you be regardless if he's a better person or not. It doesn't mean they decide when it's time to contact you, in any way that's your choice not theirs. If you really forgave them then you need to tell them you forgive them, its the only way you can fully move on. there is another way but only you know when your'e ready to do that. But at the moment it's that person that's stalling you from moving forward.

To forgive them you have to feel it from your heart not your mind. Don't think when or how to do it, you'll start to over think it and burn out my friend. I know you'll find the right words to say, all your saying is you forgive them honestly wish them a good future but you need to leave them in the past. You'll find the words but you get what i'm trying to say. And remember don't force yourself your in control do it when or how your're ready inside, Not when your mind thinks it's ready.

For now breathe my friend hold it and repeat you'll be OK your not alone

 

[may71]

I had to cut them off completely, so I did

That's good.

They claimed that they got better, and is a better person, but I don't believe it

It's not really credible that a person has reformed themselves if they secretly reestablished contact you, and that an adult who has a history of grooming is still deliberately seeking contact with minors.

I don't even know why it was so hard

Some manipulators are just very skillful.

I don't know in what context you were in contact with this person, but whatever it was, I think you could go to the childhelp.org and talk about reporting this person to the police.

There's a very good chance that you're not the only one this person has groomed.

 

[HDG]

There's a very good chance that you're not the only one this person has groomed.

I know for a fact I'm not the only one. He's been reported to the police, but there hasn't been any evidence for anything. Most of it happens on calls, and texts get deleted. I'm just gonna hope they get another assault charge and get jail time.

 

[HDG]

If you really forgave them then you need to tell them you forgive them, its the only way you can fully move on.

I did tell them, and we did make up. They just proceeded to pose as a new person so I could "actually open up to them". I still forgive them for the past, but I don't know if I can for this.

For now breathe my friend hold it and repeat you'll be OK your not alone

Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me

 

[HDG]

uhhh idk how to delete this

 

[HDG]

In the last 3 years I have been coming to the realization that I was probably molested by my uncle (RI...rest...gone and maybe best forgotten) 55 years ago.

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I have only talked with about 3 people, none in my family, about it. I am still learning how it has affected me.

I'm kinda in the same boat. I've only told 1 person because I know she won't tell anyone or judge.

 

[capitalism]

Their behaviour is disgusting tbh. Someone who "got better" doesn't try to perpetuate violation, doesn't try to get access to someone against their will. It's just that this time it was with mind instead of body. I'm sorry for the loss of trust it'll lead to. For years I suspected everyone online to be my father in disguise. It's awful

 

[capitalism]

Also it's entirely possible to live a peaceful life never forgiving people who hurt you in a big way. In my experience the decision to never let them hurt you or gain access to you works way better than "letting it go"

 

[may71]

I still forgive them for the past, but I don't know if I can for this.

Imho, forgiveness is primarily about not holding resentment and anger within your heart. There's a reason for that kind of forgiveness, because it's a heavy burden to carry.

In cases where you have a good, close relationship with someone, there's also room to sometimes give them "a clean slate", to try to completely forget some bad thing they have done. In other words, the relationship is so good, and the offense so unlikely to happen again, it's better to forget it. There's no reason to give a dangerous predator "a clean slate", or in other words, more chances to abuse you and others.

I hope you'll be free from the burden of anger, bitterness, and resentment, but also hope you'll be safe from further abuse. You have absolutely no moral obligation to forgive in a way that endangers you and others, and if anything, an obligation not to forgive in that way.

He's been reported to the police, but there hasn't been any evidence for anything

If this is something that is happening online, has it also been reported to a site administrator?

 

[may71]

uhhh idk how to delete this

If it's within the edit window, you can just delete the text and maybe put a single character like "." in a post.

If there's something that you want to delete after the edit window has closed, you can click on the "report" button in the lower left-hand corner of the post.

 

[shadowrider]

I did tell them, and we did make up. They just proceeded to pose as a new person so I could "actually open up to them". I still forgive them for the past, but I don't know if I can for this.

Part of forgiveness is letting go and moving on regardless what that person does or says. they can't hurt you inside again you follow and listen to your heart as i said before. your mind will always want to take control that's where it fooks with every emotion making them 1000 times worse. guilt, depression, loss, grief, everything. your still healing from it my friend letting it go inside means leaving it all and that person behind you. i understand it hurts not just who it was on the other end but opening up your heart, opening up your heart is very risky it becomes vulnerable that's why you trust the person. You opened your heart calmly knowing you're safe with trusting them, You're more upset about the person not being the person who you trusted opening up to and i guarantee you that's what hurt the most.

The best thing i can say but honestly it's all up to it's your life your journey don't let that person stray you from your path
again. Be free from any regret you have my friend it's honestly not worth your precious time. The only person you should and need to worry about is you only yo your the only thing important in your life, You can't become the person your heart desires with so much worthless crap pushing you down.

forgive me for going on hope your doing well...