My whole life I've been the "loner", and I've always been cold and apathetic, I also have an extremly hard time having this thing called "fun" (the thing I've noticed, is that "fun" is never really fun at all). These things have never bothered me until they (me) started to hurt others (only the few I have any good emotions for). Lately I'm starting to doubt I'm human at all. One of the many things that have been on my mind in relation to me having schizoid personality disorder, is that if one of the people I care about died tommorrow (say, my little sister), would I care? Would it ever bother me? And that thought alone really disturbs me... because I don't think they would bother me. And that, makes me feel inhuman for some reason. I feel like a puzzle missing a few pieces, or the tin man looking for a heart of his own. There's more to tell, but I guess those things can be told later.