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stalked and violated again

#1
Few months ago, I took the courage to share my story here about a stalking incident that happened last year. I am currently experiencing post traumatic stress on my daily commute because of that incident. I tend to feel uneasy and slightly paranoid at strangers approaching me when I'm alone.


After finishing our data gathering for a thesis, I went shopping in a mall near the subdivision I used to live years ago. Because I knew the place, I had no worries going there alone. It was in the late afternoon that time, and I remembered having my hair curled and wearing a jumper dress over a white long sleeved blouse and a pair of flats, which got me some attention due to the fact that wearing a skirt or a dress can get you catcalled in my place.

I waited inside a vacant tricycle except the only occupants were me and the driver. I never mind to wait for a couple of minutes until the ride is full, so I kept myself busy on the phone. Just then, a guy sat next to me, smiling. At first, (again from the previous) I ignored and went back minding my own business, but I felt my guts curling at that time. I never turned my head, but side-glanced with my hair covered.

I wished I was being paranoid, but I was not. It was that bastard again. Smiling as he inched me closer in my seat. I wished it was a coincidence, but the way he acted, it was not

I wanted to scream when I felt a hand sliding on my waist, but the driver already drove past the stop. Despite of shoving his hand away, he kept staring at me.

While I avoid his staring, I called my dad. I told him to pick me up at a certain place, then signalling him that my stalker was in the same ride as me.

Luckily, that bastard got off before my stop, but my dad wanted to personally beat him up and take him to jail. My only proof was the screenshots of the messages he sent me to my social media accounts and his photo of him staring at my back taken by a friend.

Apparently, that said stalker will never leave me alone. I found out he was planning to follow my home route when he followed my other social media accounts and messaged me how he 'badly' wanted to know me. I blocked that account, and made all my accounts private, in case he tries to connect to my account.

Hopefully, the police will take this matter seriously. My friends and batch mates who knew my recent encounter offered support to help me expose that bastard.

However, my trauma still worsen to this day when I thought it will be over. I love to travel, but thanks to a motherfucker, I become scared to step out of my room.

How will I ever handle the world once I graduate next year when I am still in fear...
 
#2
Few months ago, I took the courage to share my story here about a stalking incident that happened last year. I am currently experiencing post traumatic stress on my daily commute because of that incident. I tend to feel uneasy and slightly paranoid at strangers approaching me when I'm alone.


After finishing our data gathering for a thesis, I went shopping in a mall near the subdivision I used to live years ago. Because I knew the place, I had no worries going there alone. It was in the late afternoon that time, and I remembered having my hair curled and wearing a jumper dress over a white long sleeved blouse and a pair of flats, which got me some attention due to the fact that wearing a skirt or a dress can get you catcalled in my place.

I waited inside a vacant tricycle except the only occupants were me and the driver. I never mind to wait for a couple of minutes until the ride is full, so I kept myself busy on the phone. Just then, a guy sat next to me, smiling. At first, (again from the previous) I ignored and went back minding my own business, but I felt my guts curling at that time. I never turned my head, but side-glanced with my hair covered.

I wished I was being paranoid, but I was not. It was that bastard again. Smiling as he inched me closer in my seat. I wished it was a coincidence, but the way he acted, it was not

I wanted to scream when I felt a hand sliding on my waist, but the driver already drove past the stop. Despite of shoving his hand away, he kept staring at me.

While I avoid his staring, I called my dad. I told him to pick me up at a certain place, then signalling him that my stalker was in the same ride as me.

Luckily, that bastard got off before my stop, but my dad wanted to personally beat him up and take him to jail. My only proof was the screenshots of the messages he sent me to my social media accounts and his photo of him staring at my back taken by a friend.

Apparently, that said stalker will never leave me alone. I found out he was planning to follow my home route when he followed my other social media accounts and messaged me how he 'badly' wanted to know me. I blocked that account, and made all my accounts private, in case he tries to connect to my account.

Hopefully, the police will take this matter seriously. My friends and batch mates who knew my recent encounter offered support to help me expose that bastard.

However, my trauma still worsen to this day when I thought it will be over. I love to travel, but thanks to a motherfucker, I become scared to step out of my room.

How will I ever handle the world once I graduate next year when I am still in fear...
Estel,
Sorry about your experience. Has anything become of the investigation? No one should be a victim of a stalker. And, it's normal to feel the way you do. If this becomes more bothersome. I suggest counseling to get over your fear. I also highly suggest, taking a self defense class and/or carrying some sort of pepper spray. The main thing is to turn your fear into a fight mode. Don't let someone make your life terrifying. Turn that into a position, that you will not take any crap, from anyone. Seems like you have a good support group. Let us know how it goes.
 
#3
Estel,
Sorry about your experience. Has anything become of the investigation? No one should be a victim of a stalker. And, it's normal to feel the way you do. If this becomes more bothersome. I suggest counseling to get over your fear. I also highly suggest, taking a self defense class and/or carrying some sort of pepper spray. The main thing is to turn your fear into a fight mode. Don't let someone make your life terrifying. Turn that into a position, that you will not take any crap, from anyone. Seems like you have a good support group. Let us know how it goes.
Thank you for your supportive message. Recently, a friend of mine was willing to offer a pepper spray. I may know some techniques in self defense, but due to myself being prone to panic, I tend to freeze when I react. I have been meeting a counselor in my university to help me cope with my trauma.
In terms of the investigation, the guy is still beyond their reach, though I keep reminding them that I frequently see him outside the school perimeter. (he is not a student, but a company employee)
 
#4
Thank you for your supportive message. Recently, a friend of mine was willing to offer a pepper spray. I may know some techniques in self defense, but due to myself being prone to panic, I tend to freeze when I react. I have been meeting a counselor in my university to help me cope with my trauma.
I wouldn't let your panic attacks stop you from learning self defense. You would be surprised how much you will recall, if a situation was to happen again. Good job, with meeting with a counselor.
 

Sunspots

★☆ I know that was you Queenie and Monkey Boy ☆★
Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#5
Hi Estel.
I remember your thread on your experience with this stalker, I'm so sorry it's still happening.

It's great that you're getting counseling to help you to process this. I agree with @Were all together, carrying a pepper spray would be a good idea. Not only would it give you confidence to know that you have something that can quickly get you out of trouble but it may make him think twice if he knows you are capable of hurting him.
Self defense classes are pretty good. It can seem a bit monotonous going over the same moves again and again. But this is so they become so ingrained in your mind that it becomes natural to use them if needed.

Once again, I'm so sorry you are still going through this.
 
#6
Hi Estel.
I remember your thread on your experience with this stalker, I'm so sorry it's still happening.

It's great that you're getting counseling to help you to process this. I agree with @Were all together, carrying a pepper spray would be a good idea. Not only would it give you confidence to know that you have something that can quickly get you out of trouble but it may make him think twice if he knows you are capable of hurting him.
Self defense classes are pretty good. It can seem a bit monotonous going over the same moves again and again. But this is so they become so ingrained in your mind that it becomes natural to use them if needed.

Once again, I'm so sorry you are still going through this.
No matter how much I work out to handle an assault, my appearance is a dead giveaway for creeps, which I find it sick. I keep the contact of a police station on speed dial after I reported the incident atm. I am currently considering to take an anti-rape alarm after being offered a pepper spray from a friend. I just hope I will get enough confidence to fight back if the incident will happen again.

Thank you btw for your message! I will keep that in mind
 

pam4him

Active Member
#7
Few months ago, I took the courage to share my story here about a stalking incident that happened last year. I am currently experiencing post traumatic stress on my daily commute because of that incident. I tend to feel uneasy and slightly paranoid at strangers approaching me when I'm alone.


After finishing our data gathering for a thesis, I went shopping in a mall near the subdivision I used to live years ago. Because I knew the place, I had no worries going there alone. It was in the late afternoon that time, and I remembered having my hair curled and wearing a jumper dress over a white long sleeved blouse and a pair of flats, which got me some attention due to the fact that wearing a skirt or a dress can get you catcalled in my place.

I waited inside a vacant tricycle except the only occupants were me and the driver. I never mind to wait for a couple of minutes until the ride is full, so I kept myself busy on the phone. Just then, a guy sat next to me, smiling. At first, (again from the previous) I ignored and went back minding my own business, but I felt my guts curling at that time. I never turned my head, but side-glanced with my hair covered.

I wished I was being paranoid, but I was not. It was that bastard again. Smiling as he inched me closer in my seat. I wished it was a coincidence, but the way he acted, it was not

I wanted to scream when I felt a hand sliding on my waist, but the driver already drove past the stop. Despite of shoving his hand away, he kept staring at me.

While I avoid his staring, I called my dad. I told him to pick me up at a certain place, then signalling him that my stalker was in the same ride as me.

Luckily, that bastard got off before my stop, but my dad wanted to personally beat him up and take him to jail. My only proof was the screenshots of the messages he sent me to my social media accounts and his photo of him staring at my back taken by a friend.

Apparently, that said stalker will never leave me alone. I found out he was planning to follow my home route when he followed my other social media accounts and messaged me how he 'badly' wanted to know me. I blocked that account, and made all my accounts private, in case he tries to connect to my account.

Hopefully, the police will take this matter seriously. My friends and batch mates who knew my recent encounter offered support to help me expose that bastard.

However, my trauma still worsen to this day when I thought it will be over. I love to travel, but thanks to a motherfucker, I become scared to step out of my room.

How will I ever handle the world once I graduate next year when I am still in fear...
So sorry for what you are going through. Please know you are justified in how you feel. I hope the investigation catches up with him. In the meantime, do what you are comfortable with to protect yourself-self-defense class, pepper spray, etc. Consider counseling to work through the fear. Prayers for peace and resolution.
 

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