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Stay at home parents

Discussion in 'Making a Home, Family, and Career' started by Growing Pains, Mar 14, 2017.

  1. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    It's a shot in the dark, but I figured I'd try to find other stay at home parents here. I know most of us struggle with some form of mental illness, and I just feel like most people can't understand where I'm coming from. Most people see my life, and think I should be happy all the time. Even I feel like I should sometimes. But it's hard. I know most stay at home parents (especially moms) can relate to the stress I feel being the "nurturer" - the one who cooks, cleans, cares, raises, etc - but I just feel like very few of them understand where I'm coming from when I bring up my depression, my anxiety, my eating struggles.

    I was diagnosed with postpartum depression at my 6 week postpartum check up. I'm not sure if I technically have it or not, as I had depression before. I do feel my depression is different now, though. It's filled with intrusive thoughts now, that are characteristic of postpartum. I guess that's why they diagnosed me with it, maybe? I'm not sure. I just want to talk to someone who may understand, who may have postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, or a pre-existing mental illness and children. Someone else who stays home all day, "holding the fort", and is afraid to talk about their problems with anyone for fear of being judged as a "terrible parent".

    I talk to my mom sometimes, and she understands, but it's been so long since she had babies or kids that she never knows what to say/what advice to give.

    So, maybe, if there's enough of us here we can just use this thread to vent our frustrations, let each other know we're not alone, and maybe make some chat buddies. I'm not sure if there is enough of us, but it can't hurt to try.
    brknsilence likes this.
  2. brknsilence

    brknsilence "Keep Moving Forward"-Meet The Robinsons movie

    I'm a stay at home mother of 5. Even homeschooling my kids. Just staying busy with them actually has been a bit helpful so I'm not so depressed. There are okay days and not so good days where everything at home seems to be falling apart. It's hard work. But glad you mentioned this. Here for you. I struggle with depression even postpartum depression as well as other things. Much hugs
    Growing Pains likes this.
  3. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    Five. I'd say something about not knowing how you do it, but I'm sure you're sick of hearing those things (just like I'm sick of hearing about how "easy" my baby must be because she's quiet in public!). Instead I'll say, that with even homeschooling them, you must be doing great. I try to stay busy with mine, too. I think it's a bit harder, since she's my only one at the moment. And it's hard to find things to "do" with a baby. The older she gets, the easier it gets, but it's still a challenge. Today, for me, is one of those days where it seems like everything is falling apart...

    Thank you. I'm here for you, too.
    brknsilence likes this.
  4. brknsilence

    brknsilence "Keep Moving Forward"-Meet The Robinsons movie

    We'll get through those hard days. I just try to get through the moment, even taking moments to catch a breather. :)
  5. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    I hope you're right.

    I feel like today I need to take a moment. I don't know what to do sometimes to do so, other than taking a shower. :( Are there any hobbies that helped you along the way?
  6. brknsilence

    brknsilence "Keep Moving Forward"-Meet The Robinsons movie

    Maybe coloring with the little one?
  7. Walker

    Walker Everything Zen Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    I feel like hobbies are hobbies whether there are kids involved or not. You've got a little tiny one around so you've got to cater that to her but you could get into some kind of crafting or scrap booking, photography or painting. All of those might benefit you with the baby too, you know? Make an album for the baby, take pics of her, etc.
    You could take her out in her stroller and go for walks in the park. Maybe find a meet up group in your area for other moms or play dates somewhere local.
    I know that having the kids at home and juggling everything is real tough. You guys hang in there.
    brknsilence likes this.
  8. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    I do color by myself sometimes. I've been looking forward to when she's old enough to join in.

    I do do things with her when I can. Read to her, go for walks, walk to the store. I'm limited in where I can go, though. I can't drive, so unless my partner is home can't go too far. :( Our closest park would be about an hour? walk. And it's not worth the travel time, as you have to cross a bridge and I'd be way too anxious to do that with the little one. I've thought about play dates, but that would be hard, too for the same reason.

    I do like the idea of scrap booking, and have been playing with it. Not sure it's for me, but it doesn't hurt to try, right?
    brknsilence likes this.
  9. brknsilence

    brknsilence "Keep Moving Forward"-Meet The Robinsons movie

    You can do a lot of fun activities at home. Worth trying as much as you can.

    I been trying to figure out more on what to do with all my kids (Age ranges from 4 months to 9 years).

    Hope we can find a lot of fun activities to do (a variety to choose from).
  10. Walker

    Walker Everything Zen Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    Certainly not, nothing hurts to try it out. If you don't like it then you bail on it.
    Have you tried googling activities with young children by chance?
    brknsilence likes this.
  11. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    I've not tried Googling, but I've tried Pinterest. A few things came up, that I've tried. Mostly sensory activities, that give her stuff to explore, touch, taste, etc. They've been fun in the past. They don't last long, though.
  12. Innocent Forever

    Innocent Forever Go as long as you can. And then take another step. Chat Pro SF Supporter

    How's your scrapbooking for you been going? Maybe make a scrapbook for her of her first years...?
  13. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    It didn't last. I did buy a new baby book that's more in depth than the first one I started. It kept me busy for a while.

    Right now, I've started attempting to make my baby a quiet book. Hopefully I can finish this project. I think she'll like it.
  14. Shorty92

    Shorty92 Well-Known Member

    Hello. I have post natal depression, anxiety and OCD. I can totally relate to you, I'm here if you would like to talk.