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Stay at home parents

Growing Pains

Well-Known Member
#1
It's a shot in the dark, but I figured I'd try to find other stay at home parents here. I know most of us struggle with some form of mental illness, and I just feel like most people can't understand where I'm coming from. Most people see my life, and think I should be happy all the time. Even I feel like I should sometimes. But it's hard. I know most stay at home parents (especially moms) can relate to the stress I feel being the "nurturer" - the one who cooks, cleans, cares, raises, etc - but I just feel like very few of them understand where I'm coming from when I bring up my depression, my anxiety, my eating struggles.

I was diagnosed with postpartum depression at my 6 week postpartum check up. I'm not sure if I technically have it or not, as I had depression before. I do feel my depression is different now, though. It's filled with intrusive thoughts now, that are characteristic of postpartum. I guess that's why they diagnosed me with it, maybe? I'm not sure. I just want to talk to someone who may understand, who may have postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, or a pre-existing mental illness and children. Someone else who stays home all day, "holding the fort", and is afraid to talk about their problems with anyone for fear of being judged as a "terrible parent".

I talk to my mom sometimes, and she understands, but it's been so long since she had babies or kids that she never knows what to say/what advice to give.

So, maybe, if there's enough of us here we can just use this thread to vent our frustrations, let each other know we're not alone, and maybe make some chat buddies. I'm not sure if there is enough of us, but it can't hurt to try.
 

brknsilence

"Keep Moving Forward"-Meet The Robinsons movie
#2
I'm a stay at home mother of 5. Even homeschooling my kids. Just staying busy with them actually has been a bit helpful so I'm not so depressed. There are okay days and not so good days where everything at home seems to be falling apart. It's hard work. But glad you mentioned this. Here for you. I struggle with depression even postpartum depression as well as other things. Much hugs
 

Growing Pains

Well-Known Member
#3
Five. I'd say something about not knowing how you do it, but I'm sure you're sick of hearing those things (just like I'm sick of hearing about how "easy" my baby must be because she's quiet in public!). Instead I'll say, that with even homeschooling them, you must be doing great. I try to stay busy with mine, too. I think it's a bit harder, since she's my only one at the moment. And it's hard to find things to "do" with a baby. The older she gets, the easier it gets, but it's still a challenge. Today, for me, is one of those days where it seems like everything is falling apart...

Thank you. I'm here for you, too.
 

brknsilence

"Keep Moving Forward"-Meet The Robinsons movie
#4
Five. I'd say something about not knowing how you do it, but I'm sure you're sick of hearing those things (just like I'm sick of hearing about how "easy" my baby must be because she's quiet in public!). Instead I'll say, that with even homeschooling them, you must be doing great. I try to stay busy with mine, too. I think it's a bit harder, since she's my only one at the moment. And it's hard to find things to "do" with a baby. The older she gets, the easier it gets, but it's still a challenge. Today, for me, is one of those days where it seems like everything is falling apart...

Thank you. I'm here for you, too.
We'll get through those hard days. I just try to get through the moment, even taking moments to catch a breather. :)
 

Growing Pains

Well-Known Member
#5
I hope you're right.

I feel like today I need to take a moment. I don't know what to do sometimes to do so, other than taking a shower. :( Are there any hobbies that helped you along the way?
 

Walker

Everything Zen
Staff member
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Supporter
#7
Are there any hobbies that helped you along the way?
I feel like hobbies are hobbies whether there are kids involved or not. You've got a little tiny one around so you've got to cater that to her but you could get into some kind of crafting or scrap booking, photography or painting. All of those might benefit you with the baby too, you know? Make an album for the baby, take pics of her, etc.
You could take her out in her stroller and go for walks in the park. Maybe find a meet up group in your area for other moms or play dates somewhere local.
I know that having the kids at home and juggling everything is real tough. You guys hang in there.
 

Growing Pains

Well-Known Member
#8
I do color by myself sometimes. I've been looking forward to when she's old enough to join in.

I do do things with her when I can. Read to her, go for walks, walk to the store. I'm limited in where I can go, though. I can't drive, so unless my partner is home can't go too far. :( Our closest park would be about an hour? walk. And it's not worth the travel time, as you have to cross a bridge and I'd be way too anxious to do that with the little one. I've thought about play dates, but that would be hard, too for the same reason.

I do like the idea of scrap booking, and have been playing with it. Not sure it's for me, but it doesn't hurt to try, right?
 

brknsilence

"Keep Moving Forward"-Meet The Robinsons movie
#9
You can do a lot of fun activities at home. Worth trying as much as you can.

I been trying to figure out more on what to do with all my kids (Age ranges from 4 months to 9 years).

Hope we can find a lot of fun activities to do (a variety to choose from).
 

Growing Pains

Well-Known Member
#11
I've not tried Googling, but I've tried Pinterest. A few things came up, that I've tried. Mostly sensory activities, that give her stuff to explore, touch, taste, etc. They've been fun in the past. They don't last long, though.
 

Growing Pains

Well-Known Member
#13
It didn't last. I did buy a new baby book that's more in depth than the first one I started. It kept me busy for a while.

Right now, I've started attempting to make my baby a quiet book. Hopefully I can finish this project. I think she'll like it.
 

Ichthymom

Active Member
#15
Hey there,
Im a SAHM of 4. All under 5yrs. So I get it. Being home all day with little ones will burn you out faster than a burning paper. I wasn't officially diagnosed with PPD, anxiety or any mental health problems, but I can honestly say that I have been struggling with PPD, anxiety, bipolar and suicide thoughts for the past 3-4 years. It's extremely hard for me to admit any mental illnesses but I finally did, recently with my husband. My next goal is to get help.
Some days are not so bad. The kids will make a mess all day long and I'd go through the motions of cleaning, trying to teach/discipline, etc. And then some days, I'm just done with being a mom.
My hobbies are reading and playing the piano, which I rarely get to enjoy.
It's just so hectic in my house at the moment and I'm trying to enjoy the little things. Watching my kids play, draw/color pictures, swing outside in the backyard, sharing snacks and food with them, watching movies together...
Everyday is similar, but is very unpredictable.
 

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