Practical Advice Staying in the Present

[rubytigrcat]

@Lara_C i think thst was very good advice you gave about noticing thst you are ok right now and not focusing on possible future horrors.

I struggle with this myself a lot. In my case there are some factual financial issues which make it hard to not see a grim future.

Also, my professional role involved anticipating future risks and roadblocks so it’s hard to get out if thst mode.

But I want to try.

Open to any help on this, now and going forward.

Now to try to reset my mood, I’m going to take my prn for anxiety and then try to have a day - if nothing else, to cuddle my cat who is sad when I’m upset.

 

[Cagla]

Hey, I myself struggle with hopelessness about future and self hate etc. So I'm not the best to give advice but here I am telling you something that helps me. Writing. Write a story. Or a poem. I know some may not like the idea of writing something fictional but it actually helps. It makes you create a different reality.
Well reading sci fi helps too. Especially old short stories. Arthur Clarke etc. It depicts a whole different world view. The future beyond us.
And another advice. Watch a documentary about space. It always kills me ego and my problems seem so tiny then. It makes me care less.
Hope it somewhat helps my friend <3

 

[Lara_C]

Hi @rubytigrcat , I think you have to start by watching your own thought process very vigilantly until you convince yourself that its thoughts about what happened and what will happen which stop you from living fully in the present. While negative thoughts about the past and fear of the future are the cause of misery, there is peace in being fully attentive or open to the present, what's happening now right in front of you.

It's a struggle to keep the mind fixed on the now at first because you're overcoming a long ingrained habit, but once you notice that right now, in this very moment, you are actually ok, you are free, and let the mind rest there a while, it becomes much easier to make being present in the here and now the default. It gets easier because freedom feels good.

To start with, instead of letting the mind run on automatic pilot all the time, it might help to set aside a limited period every day to let it do its worst, after which you return to the freedom and peace of the present, moment by moment. Just sit for a while, feeling the freedom and realizing that this present moment, NOW, is all that really exists.

 

[rubytigrcat]

Sorry I’m still messing up quotes.

But the idea of setting aside time works fir me. Un less grim times I’ve found that setting a time limit during which I’m allowed to be as depressed as u want helps me let go of it so let me try thst here.

Thanks fir the advice.

 

[Lara_C]

Setting a limit on worrying about what might happen or lamenting what has happened works for me too. Also, once you really notice the freedom and peace of the present moment, every moment, it stays with you and the future takes care of itself.

It's not as difficult as it seems to get in this mindset either - the first time you really notice it will feel completely natural, like recalling something you forgot. It's the same spontaneity, joy, and openness to life we all had as children, but lose awareness of when the problems of living occupy our attention.

 

[Nick]

I struggle with looking at the future and seeing the worst possible outcomes for everything. I had a whole scenario in my head for how my job situation (or lack of job) was going to impact the future. The details aren't important, but in my head NOTHING worked out. The problem with that is we can't tell the future. Focusing on the now is difficult for me though. If I find myself too far out there grounding exercises sometimes help to bring me back to the now. The reality that in this moment the world hasn't ended. I'm starting to catch myself in these moments and realize what I'm doing. As time goes on hopefully this will become easier. I do believe that recognizing when you aren't focused on the now is a big part of the battle.

 

[Lara_C]

I do believe that recognizing when you aren't focused on the now is a big part of the battle.

Definitely, but its not as difficult as it seems to notice when the mind has strayed. At first you only catch yourself after a train of thought has already developed, but eventually you can shoot down the seed thought, which leads to all the others in the chain, as soon as it rears its its ugly head, bringing attention back to what you're doing now and fixing it there. If you do this repeatedly and consistently the unwanted 'program ' is extinguished for good, and being fully in the present more the default state.

Some people find focusing on breathing is an effective way of bringing the mind into line.

 

[Lara_C]

If you just stare at a flickering candle, or some other focal point, you will very quickly notice how the mind wanders off from attending to what's right in front of it in the present. If you keep bringing the mind back to the candle, or your chosen object, every time it strays, fixing it there, you will develop your power of concentration, and this will help you to silence distracting mind chatter in the background of daily living, and keep the mind fully on whatever you're doing in the present.

 

[Jezah81]

Perfect example of mindfulness training. Thank you for this post

 

[Lara_C]

I wish more people would try it because its very simple and not as difficult as it seems. Setting an alarm on your phone to sound every hour, then every half hour, recalling you to stop everything and practice mental silence/ stillness for a few moments is a good way to get started. Most of our thoughts - the mind chatter that goes on in the background is pointless or negative.

 

[rubytigrcat]

So now I’m going to sound very negative, but I’ve had 3 concrete bad things happen today, so apart from nit being dead yet, it’s hard do think of right now as being okay.

 

[Lara_C]

It will pass. Come back to this when you feel more settled.

By the way, if any of you use the OM mantra to concentrate the mind and shut down mental chatter, notice the silent space between each repetition of the sound. Same goes for focusing on breathing - pay attention to the space between the outbreath and inbreath