I sit her struggling with depression. I feel that I have let the most important people in my life down. Everything is hitting me at once and I don't know what to do. My wife loves me and tries to help. It is hard for me to let her know the depth of my mental pain. I play all of my mistakes over and over in my mind. All the bad decisions. I wish I could make these right but I can't and it tears at me. I am very confused right now and don't know what to do.
Struggling
- Thread starter xtest55
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Hi xtest55. I am glad you found this community. And I am very sorry you are grappling with depression. This is a great community. you can be honest here. And people mostly will really hear you. And understand the depth of pain that depression brings.
I will say one thing I have noticed about depression. When the mind is depressed it cannot think so clearly. Often I think I am a horrible person. I think I do everything wrong. I write this to you because you wrote "I play all of my mistakes over and over in my mind. All the bad decisions." I have noticed that it is often the nature of depression ( amongst other conditions) for the mind to replay what it see as the mistakes. While not being able to recognize the positive things we are, do etc. I am not saying this is the case for you. But it is common. And it is the case for me. I offer no great antidote. I think I might be a wealthy woman if I knew of a great antidote. Wealthy and healthy
Are you in counselling and on medication?
I believe people, on one level, when they tell me i am far more than the depression. But it is hard to believe this on deeper levels. I do like posting here. Can say what I feel ( especially in the members diary). What a huge gift. And it is a community here. People who understand the pain. People who live similar pain. I hope you will post whenever you need to.
I will say one thing I have noticed about depression. When the mind is depressed it cannot think so clearly. Often I think I am a horrible person. I think I do everything wrong. I write this to you because you wrote "I play all of my mistakes over and over in my mind. All the bad decisions." I have noticed that it is often the nature of depression ( amongst other conditions) for the mind to replay what it see as the mistakes. While not being able to recognize the positive things we are, do etc. I am not saying this is the case for you. But it is common. And it is the case for me. I offer no great antidote. I think I might be a wealthy woman if I knew of a great antidote. Wealthy and healthy
Are you in counselling and on medication? I believe people, on one level, when they tell me i am far more than the depression. But it is hard to believe this on deeper levels. I do like posting here. Can say what I feel ( especially in the members diary). What a huge gift. And it is a community here. People who understand the pain. People who live similar pain. I hope you will post whenever you need to.
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