I am 47 - my finances have gone south. Failing business and can't meet my responsibilities. I feel like I have failed everyone in my life and it would be better if I just left. I have a 12 year old son and that is the only reason that I still hang on. I feel like he would be better off if I could find a way to die and just leave him a good life insurance policy. I've let down everyone by not living up to who or what I could have been. No drugs or antidepressants can fix this. So fucked up - I know in my truth - I need to be checked into s short term mental health facility - but to embarrassed. I feel like an observer over my insanity but can't stop it. I self sabatoges myself and the well-being of my family. I have this awareness but can't control it. I just bury it in secret. <Mod Edit, Methods> Thanks for listening!