Stuck - but glad I found this site

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by BrooklynSurfer, May 14, 2016.

  1. BrooklynSurfer

    BrooklynSurfer New Member

    I am 47 - my finances have gone south. Failing business and can't meet my responsibilities. I feel like I have failed everyone in my life and it would be better if I just left. I have a 12 year old son and that is the only reason that I still hang on. I feel like he would be better off if I could find a way to die and just leave him a good life insurance policy. I've let down everyone by not living up to who or what I could have been. No drugs or antidepressants can fix this.

    So fucked up - I know in my truth - I need to be checked into s short term mental health facility - but to embarrassed. I feel like an observer over my insanity but can't stop it. I self sabatoges myself and the well-being of my family. I have this awareness but can't control it. I just bury it in secret.

    <Mod Edit, Methods>

    Thanks for listening!
    Last edited by a moderator: May 14, 2016
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm really glad you found us. *hug* I know you're struggling, but no matter what the situation is, your son wouldn't be better off without you. No amount of money would take the place of you in his life. Please keep trying to hold on.
    sahel likes this.
  3. BrooklynSurfer

    BrooklynSurfer New Member

    Thanks for listening and responding!
  4. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey Brooklyn, my name is Brian. Welcome to the forum, I'm glad you found us, possibly we can offer you some support.
    Yes, my friendwildcherry is right, your 12 yr old son needs his Dad around to help him grow up. If you'd like to talk privately, you can pm me, might help to get what's bothering you of your chest.
    Last edited: May 15, 2016
  5. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. I know you are hurting but trust us as life is important and that means YOU. We care about anyone suffering but when you have nothing in terms of willpower, you have to dig deep and find strength to continue with life. You deal with life struggles on hour by hour or day by day basis.

    Please keep posting here and let's us support you.
  6. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Hi and welcome to the forum.

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation. And I know it can be difficult to find your way out, but please do try.
    Your son would not be better off without you. Those are some of the lies a depressed brain might tell, but that's exactly what a thought like that is, a lie.

    There is no shame in getting help when you need it. I do respect it can be a very scary step to take, but you owe it to yourself and your son to get better than this. You deserve to feel okay and you deserve to live.

    Have you looked into any help about your finances? I don't know if this is a thing there, but is there any free legal and economic advice you can seek?

    Hang in there, remember, you do deserve to get better!