stupid emotions

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by cole624, Jun 26, 2014.

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  1. cole624

    cole624 Member

    today was another day. another day older, another day i wish i wasnt. i cant remember the last time i was so angry, ive calmed down mostly by now. but anyways at first i thought i was angry because my foreman is a slave driving asshole who doesnt give two shits or half a squirt of piss about his crew. and while he does piss me off, i think i was so livid today because i needed a break from being sad and pretending to be happy. i punched the concrete wall till my work gloves tore and my knuckles bled, luckily i was the only one down in the cell or else i probably woulda been fired for being batshit crazy. now that im home and calmed down im just sad again, nobody to hide it from, no fake smiles. i wonder if it's true if you can choose how you feel, cuz i call bullshit. i just miss Her so much. and i KNOW i shouldnt. i dont understand why i cant stop loving her when i KNOW she no longer loves me. why the fuck cant i control how i feel. is that so much to ask? to just be able to get over a girl you havent talked to in over 2 years! why cant i live. i am not alive. at least it doesnt feel that way. it's like i simply exist as a slave to these fucking emotions that i just wish would leave me alone. im a prisoner to the most important person in my life. she wants nothing to do with me
  2. NativeNH1

    NativeNH1 New Member

    I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. It took me several years to recover from depression after my unwanted divorce, so I don't think it's unusual for you to experience anger and sadness two years later. Please don't berate yourself for having strong emotions and still loving her. Love isn't something that has a magic "off" button. I'm glad that you're expressing these emotions here so others can offer support.
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    :( :hug: I'm sorry you're going through a hard time. It's hard to let go of people we love. I don't think you can choose how you feel, emotions fluctuates. I think that once you feel a certain way, you can choose to try and change it, like doing something you like or watching a funny movie, but it's not that easy...
  4. cole624

    cole624 Member

    lol a magic off button is exactly what i need.
    that or to find somebody else who might be able to take my mind off of her, but fat chance of that happening.
    and dont assume that i havent been looking or havent been trying. lol when i was born the doctors must have injected me with woman repellent
  5. islandification

    islandification Well-Known Member

    LOL at your last sentence, but I feel much the same. Problem is even when you find someone else you are caught right back in the same cycle, just with a different person.
  6. Lauramarie

    Lauramarie Member

    Just so you know you are not alone. I wish my heart had sniff switch too!
  7. cole624

    cole624 Member

    all's i know is life would be easier as a robot
  8. Lauramarie

    Lauramarie Member

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