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Successful adults, who were bullied as kids

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by Lovetolisten, Jun 30, 2017.

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  1. Lovetolisten

    Lovetolisten Well-Known Member

    I am trying to find someone I can talk via pm. I don't want anyone to feel bad, but I am looking for people who were bullied as kids and then had a more positive life as an adult.

    My theory is that if you're getting positive feedback as an adult and people are complimenting you on the things you were bullied for-then the bullies were wrong. I am curious if anyone else has a similar experience? When I was bullied, I was living in one of the most racist and "backward" states in America. Once my family moved to a big and diverse city in the north, I couldn't believe how different people were in a good way.

    Even though I have suicidal thoughts from time to time, I am lucky that things are better in my life now. But, I look back at all of the horrific things that some of my racist classmates would say. I am angry at myself for wasting my time and energy believing them, only to realize that they weren't right.

    Again, I am sorry if this is inappropriate to talk about. All what I am hoping for is to meet someone similar. Bullying is hard to talk about, because people make assumptions or say something that isn't helpful.
     
  2. Lovetolisten

    Lovetolisten Well-Known Member

    Is there anyway to delete this thread?

    I feel embarrassed. What triggered this thread is that I met someone, who complimented me. He also said, "I can't believe people would treat you that badly."

    I needed to vent
     
  3. Rebreb

    Rebreb Well-Known Member

    Don't feel embarrassed. You rose above a difficult time. Be proud of your success.

    I was bullied and became a successful adult (currently not so much anymore tho).

    After I left the Christian school where the bullying happened I was treated with respect and could start believing I was better than what the bullies tried to have me believe.

    We can't delete threads so I hope you can see that there's really nothing wrong with what you wrote.

    You might want to read the forum rules to become familiar with how the site operates.

    Your story may inspire many others. Thanks for sharing.
     
    MrB79, justrob and Struggling along like this.
  4. baywasp

    baywasp The crappiest rugger

    I don't see a problem with what you said either. It's okay.

    I don't necessarily think I am a "successful adult" right now (and I'm still pretty young, only 24. Not sure how old you are), but I know what you're talking about. People used to treat me really badly when I was younger. For a lot of reasons. I was kind of an odd kid in general, and I didn't really conform to gender norms. Now I have figured out that I am transgender and am transitioning to male, but back then everyone thought that I was a lesbian and made fun of me. I lived in rural Pennsylvania with a lot of closed-minded people. (They were often racist as well as homophobic, but their homophobia was the only part that affected me as I am white.) People didn't really start treating me better until I moved out to San Francisco (excluding the few months I spent at my first failed attempt at college three hours away from my parents' house.

    As soon as I got to California, pretty much everyone loved me. I really started to feel like I belonged and was finally home. I was nervous when I had to head back to Pennsylvania for financial/academic reasons, but I am in a large city and people are open-minded here. I have faced almost no problems. My friends on my school rugby team are all there for me and supportive, even through the issues I've been facing lately with my mental health. I was telling the one guy how people always used to think I was being a jerk for whatever reason and how they used to treat me, and he almost wouldn't believe me because of how much of a nice and lovable person I come across as to him. Don't know if this is the kind of response you wanted, but if any of that resonates with you, feel free to talk to me :)
     
  5. Lovetolisten

    Lovetolisten Well-Known Member

    Yes, both replies are helpful.

    I felt like I was lied too, growing up. At 34, I look like an older version of myself compared to my years when being bullied. Different locations and cities make a huge difference.
     
    Rebreb and baywasp like this.
  6. Ash600

    Ash600 SF Creative SF Supporter

    Growing up, I was bullied, suffered verbally, physically, as well as from some racially motivated incidents. It made me just want to go through that part of my life with my head down, hoping no one would ever notice my existence, and also turned me into a cold, unemotional sometimes hateful bastard. (Thankfully, that changed around 10 years ago)
    Academically, at that time, my work was suffering, I was basically written off as a no-hoper by all, including my family who practically gave up expecting anything from me.. How I passed my exams, I'll never know. Maybe it was a sense of inner anger or just plain spite to prove all my doubters wrong, but I eventually ended up with a degree. I managed to run my own business, but had to walk away due to health issues, physical and physcological.

    I would like to say that despite the bullying endured during childhood, plus other issues as well , I had a succesful life as an adult. But if that was the case, then I guess I wouldn't be here.
    However, for a brief moment in my life, I felt I made it.

    I hope this is kind of what you're looking for @Lovetolisten , and I apologise for taking up your time if it is not.
     
    Lovetolisten likes this.
  7. Lovetolisten

    Lovetolisten Well-Known Member

    I can relate to anger and spite fueling my desire for to be the best I can be. A part of me wants to go into detail, but a part of me doesn't want too.
     
  8. Ash600

    Ash600 SF Creative SF Supporter

    I see it as a form of revenge but with positive outcome, as no one gets hurt.
     
  9. Lovetolisten

    Lovetolisten Well-Known Member

    Yes, as they say "living well is the best revenge." :)
     
  10. Ash600

    Ash600 SF Creative SF Supporter

    Never forget that, as it's a good way to fight off these bastards.
    Sorry for the language by the way.
     
    Lovetolisten likes this.
  11. Lovetolisten

    Lovetolisten Well-Known Member

    I am okay with swearing. I had to learn in therapy that it's okay to direct your anger to who deserves it. We can still be polite and kind-hearted, yet feel angry at those who did bad things.
     
    Ash600 likes this.
  12. Lovetolisten

    Lovetolisten Well-Known Member

    Sorry for the double post!
     
  13. Ash600

    Ash600 SF Creative SF Supporter

    Just that I don't like to cause offence unnecessarily.
    I prefer it when it's intentional so that I can appreciate it!
     
  14. Walker

    Walker Everything Zen Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    I feel like nearly every single person is bullied as kids. Show me someone who isn't? There's varying degrees of it that are the difference, I suppose, but we're all getting it from somewhere... so then the question is how many fully functioning normal adults are there on the planet? Eh, not a whole huge amount but a lot of them are faking it real well.
     
  15. afterlifepig

    afterlifepig Well-Known Member

    as a kid i was never bullied, which turned out to be a good thing because it set me up for being a well-adjusted adult, despite all the shit i would have to deal with then. i was kind of an odd child - although i was a handsome young gent - but i preferred my own company and daydreams to actually playing with other children. i still had good social skills when i did interact with others. now i'm bullied online as an adult, because i look weird primarily. i don't really care anymore because i avoid the bullying content. it's a strange situation. life is messy and can be cruel, i just kind of accept that and have developed a thick skin.

    recently one who "teased" me online, who was part of that, was in an advanced class i was taking. i got along really well with him ... such it is when people are forced to actually interact with me.

    edit: actually i did get bullied a little by one chick who was bad at math and stupid. it only happened a couple times and i didn't take it to heart.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2017
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