Suicidal thoughts starting to take over?

[k3bberz]

title is pretty obvious what this is about, I've lately been thinking about suicide 24/7... i self harm a little bit but not very badly, and I dont think I would ever actually attempt to kill myself, but everyday the thoughts get more often, more intense and more detailed about it...
Im 16 and only a few people know I actually have depression (even im not sure, sometimes i just think i should get the fuck on with life), even the doctor told me i was fine which just made me feel even more worthless. -_-

 

[tweetypie]

If you are feeling this bad and self harming even just a little you are clearly not fine hun you need to talk to a parent or a friend and go to a different doctor s* for u !¬ :pinkrose:

 

[k3bberz]

I went to a doctor a year ago when I wasnt too bad but it was more obvious to other people and he literally said these words "you havent got into trouble with the police, you havent attempted suicide and you don't self harm so I think you will be just fine."

I tried to ask my mum last night if I could go again because we changed doctors but she's suffering from cancer and i dont want to put her under any extra stress and she didnt seem to bothered for me to go so i just left it at that :/

my "friends" (or the only ones i havent pushed away yet) also seem like its nothing serious, I just dont see the point in any of it anymore, not to mention the extra stress of exams starting tomorrow :sad:

 

[tweetypie]

I can see things are tough at the moment i mean cancer wow thats a biggy ! it doesnt mean that you are any less important that anyone else. If you are 16 could you not just make yourself an appointment ? You know your own body if you think you arent well you should definately seek help xx

 

[k3bberz]

urgh its just that we live in the middle of nowhere and i would need to get a lift from my dad (who i really do not get on with at all) if i wanted to go to the doctors :/

 

[icequeen]

is there no bus service, or can you go after school if that nearer...or just fib to your dad why you going to doc (i hate lying..but sometimes...you have to do what you have to do) tell him you dont feel well and need the doc or anything, so you 100% fibbing, you honest going to doc but not why...
you need help and a little fib is small price to pay for it. sorry about your mum, even more reason to fib, but you need to go to doc even if you have to walk. spank if you fib willy nilly!

 

[k3bberz]

My teacher decided today that she thinks im becoming 'too much of a danger to my life and health' so she has to tell my dad :/ urgh that should be fun.. -__-