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Suicide Notes and Suicide Dates

★ SF Staff (CP)

Staff member
Safety & Support
Suicide Notes and Suicide Dates

This is a suicide forum for peer to peer support for those with suicidal thoughts and feelings. We encourage all members to share their thoughts and feelings. The sharing and discussion of the issues and problems members are currently facing or have faced in the past that caused these thoughts and feelings is the basis for other members being able to offer support and advice that can help to conquer depression and suicidal feelings. So why is the sharing of some things (like suicide notes, or specific preparations and dates) not allowed?

The issue with suicide notes and timelines is twofold. The first is as it concerns other members. When people say they are absolutely going to “do it” on a specific day it triggers and upsets other members and friends on here that suddenly feel powerless and like they are simply going to be helpless spectators as opposed to peer supporters. Members want SF to be a place they come to for support and to feel better, not to just be triggered and feel depressed because they were unable to help. It is not a supportive environment for other members if the act of signing on to see if somebody else has signed on or not causes severe anxiety.

The people that post the timelines or dates and suicide notes may feel compelled to go through with something and like they cannot change their mind. That is often even the purpose- to force themselves into an action even though they know they do not feel like it is the right action. If they tell everybody then they “have to” go through with it. This puts pressure on people to harm themselves, which is the opposite of the intent and purpose of this site.

When the date approaches or has passed, the member feels like they cannot come back for other support so are then deprived of an important resource for support. Members that have ongoing crisis then become ignored as “attention seekers”. The fact that somebody is in desperate need of help and reaches out and receives help is not a reason for them to be ignored in the future. For these reasons, we do not allow suicide notes, timelines or suicide dates, or details of preparations. Our focus is on dealing with issues and pain causing the suicidal thoughts and feelings. We do not focus on details of suicide itself as the vast majority of members already spend too much time focusing on that rather than on solving the problems causing those feelings and pain.
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