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Suicide Pacts

★ SF Staff (CP)

Staff member
Safety & Support
Dying of loneliness, I have nobody to talk to, nobody understands me, endless isolation - after another day of feeling so alone that dying seems preferable to living, the thought of dying alone as well makes it hurt even more. Suicide pacts are a last ditch effort by many to stave off the ultimate in loneliness; they were tired of feeling like they were alone and just once even if for that they wanted somebody to understand them and be with them. So what is wrong with reaching out to somebody else that feels the same and that can really understand you?

Reasons for Suicide Pact Guidelines

You don’t need to make a pact to die with somebody to feel less alone, you just need somebody to listen and understand. Somebody that understands you and wants what is best for you will offer solutions and support to feel better, and to live a life with less pain. They are not urging you to do something to harm yourself, they are not making you spend your days and nights contemplating the most difficult and painful thing imaginable.

It hurts when you feel suicidal, friends and supporters do not try to emphasize that pain, they try to help you find time and moments where it hurts less and so you feel less alone. They let you talk and listen to get rid of that pain, not ask you to hold onto it pushing you closer to dying. A friend would prefer to see you smile or laugh if only for a moment, rather than watch you die.

Some say they were wanting a friend so not to “chicken out” but that seldom works because in the very vast majority of suicide pacts, all involved do not die. Very often in fact the other pact member does not even attempt. Talk about betrayal- when in the last minute it is realized you were once again abandoned. Statistics show that people more active in forming and the initiating of suicide pacts is the person that most often decides not to go through with it. The fact they are struggling with the thought so much themselves makes it impossible for them to follow through.

What a dark sinister betrayal- the person encouraging somebody else to take their life together with them and then choosing to let that person continue and die alone after all. Even worse is the few sick and demented that take some thrill or pleasure in the emotional and physical pain of others. While claiming understanding, they are simply voyeurs of the macabre and using and exploiting the pain of another for their perverse pleasure.

That is why we will not allow discussion of pacts, because ultimately it is letting somebody else push you into committing suicide- no different than the bully saying “you should just go kill yourself” then waiting and watching to see if you do. It is not a friend. Most agree that if somebody is a friend they want to be around you and spend time with, not to watch you die. Unfortunately depression and suicidal thoughts have caused pain so intense some fail to see even that basic truth.

In your darkest moments you might believe having somebody else give us that last tiny bit of extra “courage” to go through with it would be a good thing. Really consider that idea though. When in your life has having people encourage you to leave, go away, or die ever seemed like a positive thing? When did somebody not wanting to be around you make you feel better? It is people making you feel these things that often makes a person suicidal, it is not the support and friendship you are craving.

The news often has talks of a suicide pact with the romanticism of Romeo and Juliet, lovers that make this ultimate sacrifice. Romeo and Juliet did not meet in an internet chat room and plan it out on skype. While it is very possible to find friends, support, even love on internet sites, it is equally possible the other person is nothing like they are pretending and that it is all simply a game and entertainment for them. Nobody that loves and understands you is going to want you to die instead of simply feel better.

It is a near impossible decision for people that have known each other for years and decades and seen unimaginable physical pain and suffering for months or years. It is far too easy for somebody that you have known for only short while a few hours a day online (that also is not thinking with a clear mind possibly) to give false encouragement because they are thinking of themselves and not you. Do not be used yet again by somebody only really thinking about themselves and their problems while trying to make you believe they are thinking of you.


Active Member
This was such a helpful post for me..I never saw the betrayal as you have described it. I would have been the one to be used by believing that person cared..I want someone to care so badly I most often trust blindly..thank you

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