suicide plans and arrangements have been made..

[Marathon-Running-Bunny]

I am supposed to be helping people in this forum but i ended up getting myself into "it" also.. I know i shouldn't be saying this because if i do so, i will end up in the FAO list as well, or maybe banned.. In my previous post, i have a good job and everything seemed to be getting on well for me but.. i have the feeling to attempt it again.. I just don't know why and i am unable to speak to someone because i will pretend that everything is well.. I am shy talking to people face to face and i will not talk about it truthfully to my counsellors because i don't want to cry.. I am crying while i type in front of my computer and since no one can see my expressions, i am able to reveal everything.. This forum is not triggering me, so there is no need to ask me to take a break away from the forum..
Frankly speaking, i am fine and pretending to be mentally strong and not suicidal because i am trying to be at peace with myself.. .............................method sensored as recommended and suggested by chat monitor.................................... My classmate has already done so successfully and now it should be my turn.. her parents are tormenting me with her death so much these days and my nights are always a nightmare for me..

So Goodbye..

**one part of me wants to die so badly and the other part of me wants help very badly..**

--go hospital..? call police..? call the useless samaritans in my area..? tell my counsellor and admit to him i am suicidal now..? lol.. I will try to hang on.. but for how long.. i don't know..

marathon-addict, aged 25

 

[Comrade Napoleon]

This site has helped me cope with my suicidal thoughts

Click here

... as well from support of members on this site. I really hope you don't go with your planned suicide.

 

[Butterfly]

Hey marathon-addict.

Please go and seek some help. If a part of you wants to get help and not die then you are not 100% behind your decision and don't want to die. I know it is so cliche but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You can be helped. Earlier in chat you were talking about trying out for The Samaritans. Why don't you still try? It will give you at least one thing to work towards. Trust me, helping people in need gives you such a satisfaction no other job can do.

I don't want to be a pain in the bum either but don't post your methods hun, even if it is in white font, people will still read it.

 

[WildCherry]

:hug: Here if you want to talk. You don't have to pretend that everything's OK, here if you need anything.

 

[Anneinside]

You sound ambivalent about dying so you need to reach out for help. Go to an ER and be honest about how you feel. Help is out there waiting for you.

 

[total eclipse]

you know you donot have to wear a mask here hun let all the dam pain out here okay let all the tears go Then you go to hospital and get some much needed help to deal with your friends suicide you need help admit it hun
Tell your councillor now

 

[Sadeyes]

Please get the care you need and do not let anyone say something you have a passion for is not useful...it brings you enjoyment, and for that purpose alone, it has value (as long as it is good for you, of course)...hope your mood has elevated and that you know there are so many ppl here who care about you...J

 

[Marathon-Running-Bunny]

Thank you everyone for your replies.. I have been so upset with my own issues and i got into a nasty asthma attack; was admitted to the hospital respiratory ICU and was on nebuliser and asthma IV medications everyday while in the ward.. I told the doctor i need a psychiatrist and i just told the psychiatrist everything and the psy dr told me that it's my asthma getting me emotional and i should start to learn how to control my asthma better so that i can sleep peacefully at night and stop worrying about stupid things.. lol.. i told my psy doctor that after this asthma attack, it made me so afraid to die.. I am scared to die of asthma.. The feelings of asthma attack is so horrible..

 

[clairedelune]

I have remembered planning on my death weeks ago and even though I found no reason to ruin the plan, I still did not go on with it. Perhaps, I was too weak or for others, they found it brave enough to continue battling life. With the help of the people here, I decided to turn down the plan. So, I hope it goes the same for you. You should be brave enough to face life. But you are never alone in this. I, too, am struggling with everyday and the worse part is that there is particularly no one I can run to. So, please don't go on with those plans. They're actually only ridiculous. Lol.

And I understand how it feels to be asthmatic. And I think it's the emotional stress that's triggering you. You should try to relax a bit. Hope you're doing well now.

 

[Jack Rabbit]

There are a lot of things docs, even pdocs are good at. This isn't one of them. I've gotten more bad advice on dealing with depression/suicide from pdocs than from anyone else. Of course finding a good one is gold, but like everything else - it's hard. The mind/body feedback loop is hard to break into when it goes bad. Stop asthma - stop depression - stop asthma - stop depression. It doesn't matter where you break the positive feedback, just so it breaks.
I'm going to have lunch with a friend and talk about something else.