Super broke on christmas

[IDontWantToDie]

Well... every year it just gets worse. Im not alone anymore... but it looks like i will be eating instant noodles far a month. Goodbye health, goodbye life, goodbye sanity...
I tought i was a good person with the potential to help others fighting depression. But it looks like I will end up as a bum on the street... noone thinks it could happen to them... untill it happens.
Fuck i really dont know how to feel. Im afraid. All this mental shit and now this on top... lord, im tired... im so tired all the time.
I want drugs. Hard drugs. I want to get away form this place.

 

[alice202]

@IDontWantToDie I'm hoping a piece of good luck will come your way, and that this is just a rough patch. Hang in there.

Alice

 

[Windhover]

I hope things change. I hope you contact a food bank and recieve some decent food supplies. You may not have to eat just pot noodles for a month, at least I hope not.

If you were close-by I'd point you at a few places that give out boxes of food, which are abundant around here anyway at the holidays.

We want you alive and well.

 

[AvidFan]

I'd give you some food if I could, I hope you survive this rough turn of events.

 

[IDontWantToDie]

Thank you all... I'm sure we will figure something out in the end. I was very upset last night when I wrote this.
We can always sell stuff or something, my guitar probably, Let's face it, I don't play as much anyway anymore... I can also just borrow more money to pay back the last place I borrowed from... but that would solve only a tiny bit of the problem. It's just that money issues drain all the life out of me. And I got into a big fight with my bf yesterday about this issue, I said terrible things to him. They were sort of true, but I messed up, I was way too mean to him. I can't imagine how he's feeling right now, with no way to pay the mountain of payments this month and his girlfriend hates him...
I don't know what to do. I'm not ready for what's coming. I feel like one of us won't see next year. I'm afraid I might do something and I'm afraid that he might do something to himself. And it is this Christmas time... when all should be peaceful, and the holidays, we could go out and do something for a change... but we will be stuck at home, angry at each other and afraid.
I'm tired.

 

[Survivorist]

I really hope it will not be as you imagine now. If it comes to the worst, feel free to contact me. Do not sell your guitar - how are you living without making music. This is part of my life too. You will regret that,

 

[KM76710]

Sad to hear how down things are for you now. I hope that the best comes to you. I hope that things improve for you after the first of the year. Sometimes that does happen with how many companies put so much on hold with the ending of the year and holidays and things pick up a pace after the new year starts and things get more to normal on scheduling tasks. I hope that improvement happens for you.

 

[IDontWantToDie]

Sad to hear how down things are for you now. I hope that the best comes to you. I hope that things improve for you after the first of the year. Sometimes that does happen with how many companies put so much on hold with the ending of the year and holidays and things pick up a pace after the new year starts and things get more to normal on scheduling tasks. I hope that improvement happens for you.